ok.
So, Eric, despite deciding to leave 50 different times and never doing it, has decided to stay until the day I leave for Korea. He's also said that he "won't wait" for me in California.
Yes.. this means that Eric and I are on splitting. We're on better terms now that this is settled, he's sad about it, I'm not 'sad' more than I'm adjusting. When people leave me, it's not really a huge emotional upheaval for me - I don't have any choices, I don't have any options, and there is nothing I can do*. The only thing I can do is just get over it, get used to it, move on. It seems horrible to say I won't be crying about it, but when there were attempts to fix and the hope that we'd make this better, it was painful and sad... so I was emotional. But if this is it, this is it, no point in me wishing I did something different or regretting the decisions I made.
So, Eric and I are now getting along, but because of the new changes in our relationship, I don't really feel obligated to spend time with him. But at least there is nothing to bicker about. I will not dwell on the bad things (regret!) and I will not mourn the loss of good things (sentiment!)
instead, I took this photo of Eric:
and because Michael says my photos of Japan do not fit his image of Tokyo, I took some more "tourist" photos. I guess my photos are too real-life.
* - I could try and get him back or something, but 1) haven't I forfeited enough pride already and 2) I'll never trust him again now that he's said he's not waiting, no point in trying to rebuild that after it's gone!
So, Eric, despite deciding to leave 50 different times and never doing it, has decided to stay until the day I leave for Korea. He's also said that he "won't wait" for me in California.
Yes.. this means that Eric and I are on splitting. We're on better terms now that this is settled, he's sad about it, I'm not 'sad' more than I'm adjusting. When people leave me, it's not really a huge emotional upheaval for me - I don't have any choices, I don't have any options, and there is nothing I can do*. The only thing I can do is just get over it, get used to it, move on. It seems horrible to say I won't be crying about it, but when there were attempts to fix and the hope that we'd make this better, it was painful and sad... so I was emotional. But if this is it, this is it, no point in me wishing I did something different or regretting the decisions I made.
So, Eric and I are now getting along, but because of the new changes in our relationship, I don't really feel obligated to spend time with him. But at least there is nothing to bicker about. I will not dwell on the bad things (regret!) and I will not mourn the loss of good things (sentiment!)
instead, I took this photo of Eric:
and because Michael says my photos of Japan do not fit his image of Tokyo, I took some more "tourist" photos. I guess my photos are too real-life.
* - I could try and get him back or something, but 1) haven't I forfeited enough pride already and 2) I'll never trust him again now that he's said he's not waiting, no point in trying to rebuild that after it's gone!
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
munchies187:
Well for what it's worth I feel I'll be going through a similiar situation very soon. But it's funny cause I'm okay with it. I guess the 'comfort' factor is what is going to take time to adjust to. It's so funny how things work like that.
retroactivwe:
Sounds like the right thing, even if it is hurty.