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midnyte

The land of Nod

SG Since 2004

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Tuesday Apr 05, 2005

Apr 4, 2005
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What do you say say to someone when you know it is the last thing you will ever say to them?

I love you was all I managed, and I hope it is enough.

Today was so hard, I had to say farewell to my dear father. He has not passed yet, but he had another stroke this morning and half of his face is paralyzed. He didn't remember me for a long time, and then told me to go away. I left and called my mom and then went back to his room. When I got there he said NOW I remember you" it was the only thing he said unmistakably. He then told me he loved me and made a heart shape with his hands and then poked me and then made the heart shape again. When I left he was resting peacefully. The nurses all told me to prepare for him to not make it out of that room.
I may drive to see him again tomorrow. I was uncomfortable about going, but my son wanted to say goodbye. I'm so glad I went and he came to while I was there. He has been pretty much comatose for the last week. If I don't see him again, I know I said what I needed to say to him, and he said what he needed to say to me. I'm still devastated though. Loosing a parent is really tough.

Please make a point to spend time with the people you love. I feel so selfish for so many things I did in the past. I feel like I ripped myself off and took for granted that he would always be there. I'm going to make a point to be nicer to my mom and to call her more often even though we often dont see eye to eye.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
me1:
my god, I am so sorry. My mother in law just passed away on Saturday. Whatever you say, just make sure that you say it. It is terrible when you regret something that you should have said or done. Even if you babble for an hour then say goodbye I am sure that it will be what your dad needs to hear and what you have to say.

Hang in there and I hope there is not too much pain.

Feel free to hit me up to talk if you need to.

Good luck.
Apr 5, 2005
supergp:
What do you say say to someone when you know it is the last thing you will ever say to them?

It depends on who they were. My father knows I love him (I hope!), so I think I'd talk inanities and cry incessantly. But my mom (who was a much bigger influence)....I don't know what I'd say. I think I could do no better than telling her that I loved her.

I hope the day I have to worry about such things is far off, but I fear it will be sooner than I am ready for.
Apr 5, 2005

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