midfuckepiphany

my freinds list is starting to look like all my freinds are ghosts. which i guess is pretty much reflective of my real life as well. i haven't been very assertive on the "friends" quests for several months. i'm lazy, and i don't like people much.

i do think i'm beginning to understand them better though. not *empathize with*, mind you, but *understand*

because i study thier habits!

case in point: so i'm riding my bmx near georgetown univ yesterday evening, and it's like that time of year again when the parents are, like, seeing their little darlings off to school, setting them up in their apartments, buying them furnature, books, etc.

and meanwhile, it's also the time where there's a lot of orientation events, & meet-n-greets with your new classmates ... and the girls are all tossing their hair and trying to look "right," and the dudes are throwing footballs around, and there's a lot of frantic social positioning going on ...

and i'm taking-in this whole scene, and then suddenly it dawns on me ... 'ah, i think i get it now: so people are born, then they go to school through high school, then the more priviledged ones are brought to universities where parents pimp the girls out to knuckle-dragging future walmart managers wearing backwards baseball hats, a four-year fuck-a-thon ensues, and then the ones left over who haven't died of STDs or alcohol poisoning pair off to squeeze out brats of their own, and then the whole grim cycle starts all over again.'

so in other words, people are just CATTLE. dumb, roaming, grunting, shitting, humping, herds of cattle. merely marking time as history comes and goes.

why did it take me so long to come to this rather simple conclusion? my own georgetown experience could have been so much more ... in tandem.

i guess most people are fine with being cattle. they are the HAPPY ONES.

here, let me try ...

MOO!

... nah, it's just not me. i guess i'm doomed to the land of ghosts. won't you join us?