hi all, back from the other side of the atlantic & i changed my alias for no particular reason.
all in all the trip went well.
flight there = good, british airways tried to jip me out of my requested aisle seat, but i managed to scam one anyway so comfortable flight.
arrived sunday in brussels, it was cold and drizzly. hotel was nothing special, but decent.
had some time to kill on monday, so i took the train north to rotterdam to score some weed. rotterdam was also cold and drizzly and i was worried the rain would fuck my laptop, which i was carrying with me in my backpack because the brussels hotel didn't have a safe & i can't afford to have it jack'd. i wandered around trying to find my favorite coffee house, but it had closed. so i stumbled into a place called alpha blonde's. it was full of stoned algerians, and i couldn't understand a fucking word the guy behind the bar was saying, so i just pointed like an idiot to the top item on the menu.
"one gram?" he asked.
"two," i replied, holding up two fingers in case there was any miscommunication.
he fiddled with a scale, handed me a baggie & i paid him 10 euros.
back out in the rain i looked at what he'd given me. it was actually a hash rock, which was fine, but i needed more. i stumbled into another place, and again made a complete ass of myself with a lot of miscommunication, but by the time it was over i was leaving the place with 4.2 grams of White Widow - the holy grail of weed scores. for anyone who hasn't tried it, when you're looking for dope in holland, White Widow is the shit. and once again it didn't let me down - the sweetest high-as-a-kite producing bud i've ever sampled, and now i had enough to last me three weeks.
i had to take a leak, and i wanted to get out of the rain for a few minutes, so i ducked into a bar i'd been to before. i ordered an amstel light, sucked it down, then ordered another and had the bartender point me in the direction of the rest rooms. i went to the back of the place and through a door and found myself in a vestibule with two other doors - one had a 'D' on it, the other had nothing on it. wtf? i went through the door with the 'D' on it. i don't fucking know; i thought maybe the 'D' stood for the dutch word for 'bathroom' or something.
inside there were no urinals, which should have told me right there that i was in the girls' rest room, but i've never been too bright, and besides i was jetlagged and my mind was a mess, so i went into one of three stalls that were in there. i couldn't get the door to close so i left it ajar. the cubicle was oddly shaped and really narrow - kind of hard to explain - so i sort of had to stand sideways to piss, kind of facing the door. so i start to piss and the next thing i know, some hot blonde girl whips open the door. the series of expressions on her face over the next few seconds was fascinating to watch. her facial expression went from 'oh, i'm so sorry to have barged in on you.' to 'am i in the wrong bathroom? what the fuck is a guy doing in the girl's bathroom' to 'oh my god, i'm looking directly at this dude's pissing penis.' haha! i thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head.
*note to self: stop showing your penis to europeans* (am i the only one that this constantly happens to?)
i heard her go into one of the other stalls, so i high-tailed it out of there, sucked down the rest of my amstel light, and left that place fast before she came to her senses and turned me into the police for being a perverted dementoid.
tuesday and wednesday i covered a conference for a magazine i write for. tuesday was good - got a good story & emailed it from the hotel just in time to go to press. wednesday was bad - two people made speeches slamming our magazine. i demanded equal time, and mumbled to the audience a really lame defense. i probably should have just kept my mouth shut.
thursday travelled to london. always great to be back there. one of the greatest cities on earth. stayed in camden town, my favorite place ever. thursday night got together for beers with my friend ralph, then we went to meet some people at this other place. it was ok, but i've had better times.
friday got together with the workmates. that was a lot of fun. i was really trying to make up for my really bad performance hanging with them last time about three months ago. i'm surprised it didn't get me fired. (flashback: to make a long story short, got way too drunk, offended everyone, showed everyone my dick, got into some kind of ruckus that i barely remember, got physically ejected from a bar by bouncers and passed out for several hours in the gutter outside the place.)
this time though, i was much better controlled. we drank all afternoon and into the evening, but no problems, just fun drunk times. one of the guys i work with even hooked me up with a line of really good coke (although snorting and sucking it off that toilet seat could probably have been handled with more finesse).
saturday flew back to the states. i didn't try to smuggle the weed because i discovered friday that a big payment i was expecting did not make it into my bank account, meaning i was stone broke, meaning i was going to have to figure out how to get home from Dulles airport with no cash, and meaning i was going to be facing starvation over the next couple of weeks. i figured i didn't need the added stress of having to worry about a possible drug bust. so as inconspicuously as I could, i dropped my remaining stash into a garbage can in a heathrow coffee stand right before i went through security.
damn good thing i did too, because as i was approaching security, a uniformed fellow stopped me and said i had been "randomly selected" to be run through one of those new machines that can see through your cloths that they're experimenting with now in UK airports. i'd read about the machines, and the mild controversy surrounding them - some people get uptight about being seen naked by the person monitoring the machine. when he told me what the machine did, he kind of looked at me as if he was expecting some kind of objection. but i didn't give a fuck. at this point, is there anyone in europe who HASN"T seen my penis?
all in all the trip went well.
flight there = good, british airways tried to jip me out of my requested aisle seat, but i managed to scam one anyway so comfortable flight.
arrived sunday in brussels, it was cold and drizzly. hotel was nothing special, but decent.
had some time to kill on monday, so i took the train north to rotterdam to score some weed. rotterdam was also cold and drizzly and i was worried the rain would fuck my laptop, which i was carrying with me in my backpack because the brussels hotel didn't have a safe & i can't afford to have it jack'd. i wandered around trying to find my favorite coffee house, but it had closed. so i stumbled into a place called alpha blonde's. it was full of stoned algerians, and i couldn't understand a fucking word the guy behind the bar was saying, so i just pointed like an idiot to the top item on the menu.
"one gram?" he asked.
"two," i replied, holding up two fingers in case there was any miscommunication.
he fiddled with a scale, handed me a baggie & i paid him 10 euros.
back out in the rain i looked at what he'd given me. it was actually a hash rock, which was fine, but i needed more. i stumbled into another place, and again made a complete ass of myself with a lot of miscommunication, but by the time it was over i was leaving the place with 4.2 grams of White Widow - the holy grail of weed scores. for anyone who hasn't tried it, when you're looking for dope in holland, White Widow is the shit. and once again it didn't let me down - the sweetest high-as-a-kite producing bud i've ever sampled, and now i had enough to last me three weeks.
i had to take a leak, and i wanted to get out of the rain for a few minutes, so i ducked into a bar i'd been to before. i ordered an amstel light, sucked it down, then ordered another and had the bartender point me in the direction of the rest rooms. i went to the back of the place and through a door and found myself in a vestibule with two other doors - one had a 'D' on it, the other had nothing on it. wtf? i went through the door with the 'D' on it. i don't fucking know; i thought maybe the 'D' stood for the dutch word for 'bathroom' or something.
inside there were no urinals, which should have told me right there that i was in the girls' rest room, but i've never been too bright, and besides i was jetlagged and my mind was a mess, so i went into one of three stalls that were in there. i couldn't get the door to close so i left it ajar. the cubicle was oddly shaped and really narrow - kind of hard to explain - so i sort of had to stand sideways to piss, kind of facing the door. so i start to piss and the next thing i know, some hot blonde girl whips open the door. the series of expressions on her face over the next few seconds was fascinating to watch. her facial expression went from 'oh, i'm so sorry to have barged in on you.' to 'am i in the wrong bathroom? what the fuck is a guy doing in the girl's bathroom' to 'oh my god, i'm looking directly at this dude's pissing penis.' haha! i thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head.
*note to self: stop showing your penis to europeans* (am i the only one that this constantly happens to?)
i heard her go into one of the other stalls, so i high-tailed it out of there, sucked down the rest of my amstel light, and left that place fast before she came to her senses and turned me into the police for being a perverted dementoid.
tuesday and wednesday i covered a conference for a magazine i write for. tuesday was good - got a good story & emailed it from the hotel just in time to go to press. wednesday was bad - two people made speeches slamming our magazine. i demanded equal time, and mumbled to the audience a really lame defense. i probably should have just kept my mouth shut.
thursday travelled to london. always great to be back there. one of the greatest cities on earth. stayed in camden town, my favorite place ever. thursday night got together for beers with my friend ralph, then we went to meet some people at this other place. it was ok, but i've had better times.
friday got together with the workmates. that was a lot of fun. i was really trying to make up for my really bad performance hanging with them last time about three months ago. i'm surprised it didn't get me fired. (flashback: to make a long story short, got way too drunk, offended everyone, showed everyone my dick, got into some kind of ruckus that i barely remember, got physically ejected from a bar by bouncers and passed out for several hours in the gutter outside the place.)
this time though, i was much better controlled. we drank all afternoon and into the evening, but no problems, just fun drunk times. one of the guys i work with even hooked me up with a line of really good coke (although snorting and sucking it off that toilet seat could probably have been handled with more finesse).
saturday flew back to the states. i didn't try to smuggle the weed because i discovered friday that a big payment i was expecting did not make it into my bank account, meaning i was stone broke, meaning i was going to have to figure out how to get home from Dulles airport with no cash, and meaning i was going to be facing starvation over the next couple of weeks. i figured i didn't need the added stress of having to worry about a possible drug bust. so as inconspicuously as I could, i dropped my remaining stash into a garbage can in a heathrow coffee stand right before i went through security.
damn good thing i did too, because as i was approaching security, a uniformed fellow stopped me and said i had been "randomly selected" to be run through one of those new machines that can see through your cloths that they're experimenting with now in UK airports. i'd read about the machines, and the mild controversy surrounding them - some people get uptight about being seen naked by the person monitoring the machine. when he told me what the machine did, he kind of looked at me as if he was expecting some kind of objection. but i didn't give a fuck. at this point, is there anyone in europe who HASN"T seen my penis?
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
dedgirl:
rude_ruca:
YES! another name change....now I am going to call you 
