midfuckepiphany

Well i blew the whole day today making arangements for my "business" trip to Europe that will begin Wednesday. It took a whole day because it's a lot more complicated than previous trips have been. Here's the plan: take the red-eye on wednesday to london, arrive thursday, spend thursday hitting my favorite (alt. favourite) shops, have drinks with my mates (alt. homies) bob and ralph thursday night at the green man pub, meet with my colleagues friday morning (the mag i write for is hq'd in london) then we'll all go to the bricklayers pub (aka 'the away office') for lunchtime beers, which i'm sure will degenerate into a long night of sloppy, embarassing excess. then saturday morning i hop a quick flight to amsterdam. (this is where things get complicated.) i'm going to load up my suitcase with a personal drug stash. then i have to go to germany for a week of story hunting & giving a speech in front of a bunch of CEOs. but i want to bring the drugs, so i didn't want to take a plane because the last thing i need is for some drug-sniffing dog to go balistic & bite my nuts off. so i arranged to travel to hamburg by train, but the journey depends on me making a transfer in some remote netherlands town. then i work for the beginning part of the week (while doing aforementioned drugs) and then i have to somehow figure out how to get a train to hannover, germany for a day of covering a trade exhibition (while doing aforementioned drugs) then, because i have no choice but to get on a plane, i'll have to ditch the rest of my stash (although i might try to smuggle a small amount of smoke) before hopping over to paris, where i'll piss away my weekend. then it's back to wonderful, boring, uptight DC. my concern is that, given that i'm going to be fucked out of my head on weed and shrooms from amsterdam on, i'm going to fuck up that train transfer in the netherlands and end up stranded in some godforsaken town babbling incoherently as farmers look at me and jab me with their pitchforks. oh well, it will add a, perhaps essential, element of CATASTROPHIC RISK (an insurance industry term i've always loved). my other concern is that, because i procrastinated so long on making these plans, i couldn't get a hotel room in hannover for anything less than a total pay-out-the-ass price, and when the expenses people at the mag see my claim for reimbursement they're going to stamp it 'fire him at once.' i really have to tackle this procrastination problem. i'm sure i'll get around to it.