midfuckepiphany

SO
FRIGGING
BIZARRE

so i live in DC, right? i first moved here like five years ago, then moved away for several years, and now im back. so when i first moved here five years ago, one day im walking on a side street in Georgetown, and this dude in a really nice sports car wearing an expensive suit pulls up next to me, and heres the conversation:

dude: excuse me

me: (nave, always happy to help people with directions, walks up to dudes window) yeah?

dude: im wondering if you can help me; im not from around here, and im looking for a gym where you can work out, but you dont have to be a member.

me: um, sorry, cant help you; i dont know any place like that.

dude: do you work out?

me: um, yeah, but not in a gym; just on my own n stuff.

dude: yeah, you do, like, sit-ups? free weights? stuff like that?

me: yeah.

dude: (gets shifty eyed; eyes dart from side to side) you wanna come work out with me?

me: (finally getting hint) um, no, ive got places to be. good luck though.

* dude drives off *

so, like i said, im nave. it wasnt until the very end of the exchange that it begins to dawn on me that this dude is trying to get me into some weird sex shit, or sex for money shit, or whatever.

but, so, check this out: today, right? its been the first nice day here weather-wise in like eight weeks, and ive been dying to take my bike out, so i seize the opportunity. so im over the bridge in Rosslyn on a side street by some parking lots just peddling around, not really doing much AND THE SAME FRIGGING DUDE PULLS UP IN A SPORTS CAR DRESSED THE SAME WAY AND THE EXACT SAME EXCHANGE HAPPENS AGAIN. seriously like word for word. and again, its not until the very end that i get a clue.

at least i think it was the same guy. maybe it was a different guy, but that line is like some universally understood pickup line in the bathhouse underworld or something. anybody know? but i could swear it was the same guy. he looked the same from what i remember, except five years older. either way

BIZARRE