michellesg

I went out and got really drunk last night, here are my thoughts slightly blurred by hangover and drunkness the morning after

I'm sitting and staring at my room, it's mostly packed, empty walls and full of boxes.

i'm leaving my home.
this year has been insane. I started the year horribly depressed, dating a guy who was awfully lame and treated me terribly, almost dropped out of college, tried to smoke myself retarded, spent hours writing depressing things, and never left this room.

Now I'm looking at my room and I know I will miss it. Right now argon and Alex are on my bed cuddling, and I will miss them too.
I will miss everything about this place.
I will miss the boy that spent the last few weeks of school in my bed with me, cuddling me, waking me up in the middle of the night to give me kisses and tell me how beautiful I am. Geez.. I miss him already.
I will miss school, feeling purposeful. Feeling like I have a meaning.
I will miss not having to cook my food, to just go to the cafeteria and not have to prepare anything for myself
I will not miss working at the cafeteria!
I will miss stumbling home drunk. The nights when I like to walk all the way back to my place (often around a 2 mile walk) because I dont have a car here at school with me. The walks are amazing though, everything blurs by you, the night, the cool chill of late hours, the drunken fools trying to get home from the bars, the asshole guys that yell shit at me from their car windows, a lot of times I see things I've never seen before when I walk home intoxicated, it seems strange but its true. The prettiest site to see though is when I cross the bridge over the river to get to my dorm building all the lights from the city reflect onto the water and it shimmers with color. It kills me everytime, i will miss crossing that bridge too, the wind is so cold over a river, it's insane.
I will miss walking everywhere. I walk miles everyday. I hate driving and riding in cars. There is far more freedom in your own limbs, you get places because you are taking yourself there and there is something really pure about that.
I will miss this website for sure, of course I will see come online every once in a while, but it will be very infrequent and I'll have limited capacity to respond to people. If you really want to talk to me, e-mail is probably the best way to reach me because I can check that anywhere, as opposed to this site.

Missing is really just realizing how good I have it. Everything in my life is how it is because I made it that way.
This summer will be amazing. spending 11 days in Japan, two weeks camping in a tent in Wyoming with a bunch of strangers trying to act even though i'm not really an actress. The amount of self actualizing I will do this summer will be insane, I'll try to keep you all updated if you care.

in other news, I got some really cute black pinch braids (extensions) in the front of my hair and it looks cute.

I need to pack some more before my parents get here.

Goodbye life as I know it, good morning today.