mia

Some people just make me plain ill in the pit of my bowels.

My lip is still swollen. a little better, but it hurts.
I hate liars. I want to lock them all in a room where I never have to see or hear or meet them ever again.
I think I'm going to vomit. People have never ceased to amaze me with their disguisting insides. ..and you wonder why I can't just TRUST everyone?!
FUCK.

So now I'm waiting to find out the same things about everyone else I find wonderful in my life. I am kind of moved by you, then more, then to the point where I'll be hurt. I'm at the point where some people could make me feel completely right in non-trust issues if they abandon my hope that they are different. I still believe they are. I give them the chance. I hope nothing compromises what I have left in people. I still have myself, and I understand that. I want to have you stay. A best friend is not a liar. Right now I have an opening for a best friend... applications will be taken and consideration for the position will be determined in many months.
At least I'm here. I'm not around. I don't need any red bull and vodkas on Monday nights anymore... or the $1 beers. The free shows and shuffleboard are off too. I really enjoyed all of that too. I thought there was sincerity.
At least I do have you though.. that's all I can think about. I am trusting you. You have given no promises to break so you're safe.