mia

So, I'm sitting here, doing almost nothing, listening to Califone, hungry, bored, I should go get some food. I'm going out with Sarah tonight, to the Tonic, cheap ass beer. Last night all I had to drink was Diet Coke.. about 10 of them actually. I was diet coked out, like a crazy crack head standing outside of Dante's. I had fun though. I can't wait to leave. Boredom scares me sometimes. I haven't tried to aleviate this anyway. I have no where else to write now but in this journal. All of my stuff is packed up, and I somehow managed to keep my notebook in a box in a garage in storage until I leave. I have some blankets. I have heat... and a borrowed computer left here for the rest of the week. A book of CDs and some chapstick are here too. Well, the chapstick is in my pocket. I wish time and alcoholism were insignificant. I know my back hurts from sleeping on a hardwood floor, but I'd like to blame it on still being here period. I can't wait for some change. I need a new pillow too. My old pillow is comfortable, but it doesn't have enough support, it's more of a value I keep in the back of my head because I can't make any excuses why I shouldn't. Maybe it's just the pillowcase I need. It's pretty soft, and blue. I think I've had it since I was about twelve. My bruises never seem to go away. I have them on my legs from last night. I accidentally crawled on the space where the stage meets the extension of the stage, making my bruisies seem permanant every week. I have become rather used to them though. One minute I feel super special, then something makes me fall into something for a bit until it picks up again. It's strictly my fault I think. I can be scared of getting something that I want, right? I'm left in a constant fear with the experience of my whole life backing it. I think it's just the move. I can't wait for me and my cat Sophie to be able to sleep in the same place again. She usually stays around me, but I haven't been able to be near her because I'm in a complete urgency about life now, squatting, or what have you. Well, not squatting I guess, staying. I'm glad I'm leaving Portland. I'm thinking I'll be back often for visits though. Leaving is good. Watching random neat movies is good. Family is good. Playing music with new people is good. It will all be good.

Ok for now.
Mia