mia

(entry edited to let everyone know.. this is about self realization, not about being sad because of a guy that dumped me... it's about newness and breaking away and finding out that there's something better everytime you open your eyes. Yes.)


The last 8 months or so have been really strange. I remember laying down in my bed alone, crying myself to sleep. I met someone, we wanted to be with eachother more than anything. Everything went well. We were amazing. We went out, partied, shows, bars, movie nights. Lived together, shared our lives. It started to get tense, like sleep paralysis. He broke up with me, my mind became blank. We broke up a month ago, the lucidity seemed so real. 20 seconds had passed between me laying down and crying myself to sleep, to waking up, in someone else's arms. I am awake now. At least this level of awake. It is all really just a dream. It will always end until you die.

My car is smashed, for those who don't know. I rolled it yesterday, then, went and got drunk. in Idaho. yes. Flying out soon.. couple days maybe, or tomorrow, whatever, I don't know.
People I want to kidnap: you know who you are! no blowing up planes... or tires. yay Oregon.