Well as some of you all know I have been talking about the need for change for some time now. Most of it stemming from my job, how slow it's been, how much of my life it has been taking up, and just generally how unhappy that's made me. Lately I've been feeling like I've lost myself. Also, for those who don't know I am a cam model and have been for the past 4 years. That type of work can be incredibly fulfilling or incredibly devastating. Working month after month after month not hitting your goal and dealing with negative comments just rubs away at your core. I feel like I've been grated down with sand paper from the inside out and the only thing left is the outer shell of someone who used to be someone. I have made a lot of great friends camming and for them I am thankful..they are what's kept me from leaving this industry all together. That being said, something had to give...so I went out and got a job! It's only a few days a week and it's scary as hell to join the "real world" job sector after 4 years but I'm ready for this new challenge and to see how I can grow from it. I'll still be camming for now since you can't make rent off 3 days a week but who knows that else the universe will bring me.
I start Sunday night so wish me luck! And as always thank you for listening :)
