metta

I've alway wanted to be ok with being "curvy" or "Plus size."

I envy the women that can be ok with their size and be confidant.

that's not me though. I have been a fit person trapped inside a fat person's body for most of my life.
I have always been interested in sports and fitness. I played on hockey teams and swam relay. I also was very into tennis in my younger days as well as taking off to go skiing almost every weekend with my family.

Ive just been fat all the while doing it.

I am determined to release this athlete that is dying to get out.

I love to sweat. I love to feel the stickiness of my skin against my clothes. I know ive workout well when my clothes are drenched (even my undies!)

I also love to see the looks on people's faces when i can out do them in most cardiovascular sports....except soccer. those people are insane and intense!

I think the reason i am posting this is that i cannot relate to women my size anymore. I know i am generalizing when i say most of the women that I have met that are my size are incredibly sedentary. I just cant get on board with that.

I find bigger women extremely attractive but i dont want that for myself. It's not who i am.

Healthy and fit is HOT.

i think that is why i removed myself from the PSW and Big cuddly boys groups. i just cant relate anymore. I can empathize, sure, but it's not very motivating for me anymore.

I hope this doesnt seem like I am badmouthing anyone.

I am at a different point in my life.
If you are struck between two options, just flip a coin in the air!

It works.

Not because it solves the problem . . . but because while the coin is in the air, You will get to know what your heart is really hoping for.