metamorphosis

i have a problem that is making me sad. i had a horse for 9 yrs that i had to sell when i went to college... we sold her to a "friend" whose daughter was 13 at the time. well, that was 4 yrs ago. now that 17 yr old girl doesn't want to ride anymore, so her mom is getting rid of her 3 horses. but my old horse, sabrina, is 17 yrs old as well. even though she's a great and beautiful horse, she isn't exactly in her prime, and she's too ornery for inexperienced riders. the woman said she would essentially give her to me. literally, for a $1 exchange to make it legal (keep in mind, this horse was worth $35000 in her prime). i want her SO bad. i've wanted her back ever since we sold her, especially since i didn't like stuff they did with her. and now i can't take her, when i literally could have her handed to me, because i couldn't afford to keep her. i am so sick of money getting in the way of everything. i need to rob a goddamn bank. i guess i'm just a sissy, but i can't stop crying because i'm so damn frustrated and i want my girl back so bad. i hate money. i hate growing up. i hate when life teases you and then slaps you in the face. it just isn't right.