Sometimes I wanna just disappear and be alone for a long while. I think I'll either take 30 days of leave and do that, or disappear for a short time after I get out of the Air Force. I dunno why. It's not like me to run away from things, and I won't, but I just want to be alone and get away from everything for a bit.
I dunno, I've been bummed out the past few days. I think the stress is getting to me, which is odd because usually I'm am pretty relaxed and take things with a grain of salt. I suppose it was only a matter of time. Between all the pent up anger and just work work work work, I was going to feel this way.
Ah well. I think its because I haven't had a release, except for drinking. My release the past 10yrs has been paintball, and I am starved of it. I played last week for a short bit, but that was it. I really need to play, to light someone up, to get shot up myself. Need to feel that sting of a broken paintball on my skin. To have my adrenaline pumping and heart racing while I run to the next bunker as a stream of paint comes at me. GRRRRR! I NEED TO PLAY!!!!!!!!
Speaking of last week.
I dunno, I've been bummed out the past few days. I think the stress is getting to me, which is odd because usually I'm am pretty relaxed and take things with a grain of salt. I suppose it was only a matter of time. Between all the pent up anger and just work work work work, I was going to feel this way.
Ah well. I think its because I haven't had a release, except for drinking. My release the past 10yrs has been paintball, and I am starved of it. I played last week for a short bit, but that was it. I really need to play, to light someone up, to get shot up myself. Need to feel that sting of a broken paintball on my skin. To have my adrenaline pumping and heart racing while I run to the next bunker as a stream of paint comes at me. GRRRRR! I NEED TO PLAY!!!!!!!!
Speaking of last week.
psychobabblez:
dammmm that bruise is HUGE.