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metalheadgrrl

Seattle

Member Since 2005

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Saturday Jul 01, 2006

Jul 1, 2006
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So it seems like my parents have noticed my increased queerness.

My mom keeps asking if I'm going to marry a guy. I ask her why it's so important to her and her response is so she "can have grandchildren." She ignores my comments about adoption/a sperm donor if i do marry a woman.

She's also making a lot of reallllly inappropriate jokes about my sexuality. We had a 15 year old house guest and her mom over for a week (old friends from Colorado) and she kept saying things like "Don't hug Morgan, she's a lesbian!" Or "Don't come onto Abby, Morgan."

My mom also gets really uncomfortable and snappy if I try to talk about a girl im attracted to or past relationships with women.

She's also convinced it's all still just a "phase" (I came out in 7th grade).
Although she continues to tell me she's ok with my sexuality.

My dad told me the other day not to go "flaunting" my queerness to people. He also told me not to call myself gay. He said it's important that I stick with the distinction of "bisexual".

He said "when I talk about all the human rights work you've done, I just tell people you're working to make the world a better place for people. I think it's best to leave out the fact that you do all your work for gay people."

So much for accepting parents.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
throttlebitch:
Actually I will be on a barge in Lake Washington off of Lake Forest Park. I'm surprised that they will let you in that close. Some of the pyro companies break the law and let boats in closer than they should, but it keeps the sponsors happy and the law looks the other way.
Jul 3, 2006
sodome:
Making space for my parents/friends/relatives to articulate some of the real fears behind their stupid comments can help a lot. So often it's really instinctive, not-so-well-thought-out stuff and when they put words around the specifics they solve things for themselves.

The standard set of parental fears seemed to boil down to:

1)
"If you stand out as different people will judge you and/or hurt you."

2)
"If you stand out as different people will judge us and hurt us."

3)
"If you insist on being queer and we still want to be close to you it''ll make queerness a topic about which we'll have to think and make conscious choices rather than running our minds/mouths on automatic. Ick. Thinking and conscious choices are hard work."

Difficult to make space in which smart people can articulate stupid ideas, but if you're feeling generous enough to do it, that might help. Good luck.


Jul 19, 2006

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