meta

no aspect of my life is healthy right now. the stress, the eating, the lostness, the sitting down in the car and wondering if I should drive myself into a wall or just cry while not singing along, while staring cross-eyed into traffic, wondering what it is I need to do. I am told to listen to myself, but my Self is not saying anything. it's throwing its hands up and walking away.

is it responsible to stay, is it reckless to leave, or is it the other way around? I could do something that's absolutely stupid and crazy but maybe what's stupid and crazy at this point is not doing it.

if my brain had a tongue, it would be sucking on the term "molotov cocktail."