mervin

Its a bit odd to be looking at ten and twelve year old poems in these journal entries. The guy that wrote them doesn't exist anymore. There are lots of the things, I wrote three a week for live reading at the "five o" for what seems like a long time, but couldn't have been more than a year.. The stuff is historical, the fight in Morning Edition took place at Snookers on Avent Ferry, Fish is Umstead Park. I like wading through old files and finding the stuff and when I read it I see Hillsborough Street like it used to be and Maiden Lane parties, the old downtown crew like it used to be, the Fallout Shelter, Gorman Street and the runaways that flocked to Raleigh, The bins where the bands used to practice and the houses we lived in have slowly become upscale realestate who would have thought.

SG reminds me of who we used to be. But its different, there was a time when I knew most every face in a downtown Raleigh bar, and thats a lot different from logging on to a website in anonymity. Probably one scene is just like any other every scene has surface and heart. And everywhere you go somebody is looking for their 15 minutes. That's cool, we're all entitled, but clearly there's more to people than what can be captured with a camera or a keyboard or on a stage. Performance made me uncomfortable enough to give up performance, But, it is no more endearing to sit in an audience peering sidewise at other peoples lives like just another rube.

I kind of like public posting to nobody.

I think I will write some motorcycle diaries.