I'm not seeking advice or anything, but my life is quickly spiralling out of control and I need to do some serious venting. 
+ I'm unemployed and looks like I will continue to be that way for a while.. all I want is an office assitant job, but there don't seem to be any of those (not even with temp agencies), just lots of service sector. Service jobs make me suicidal... I know that sounds dramatic, but it's not an exaggeration. I've had at least three jobs where I would wake up and cry every day because I had to go into work, where I would be treated like shit by customers and management alike. I would feel nausious on the bus going to work... there's one route that I still don't like to take to this day because it reminds me of a call centre job I had 4 years ago.
+ My student line of credit (which I've been living on since mid-April) is getting dangerously close to the maxed-out level. After I pay rent for July, there'll be about $1k left if I'm lucky, but probably a little less than that... sounds like a lot, but that's roughly what it takes for me to live for a month... the rent in this city is astronomical, that's where most of it goes. That and groceries. There's also a possibility that I won't be able to access it at all after the end of this month since I'm not a student anymore. I can't borrow money from my folks because they just bought a new house and said they have no cash to spare.
+ I'm not going to graduate uni any time soon and I don't have the heart to tell my parents. I was supposed to be part of a convocation on July 21, but there's no way it's happening at this point... It's fucked up because theoretically I could have all the credits I need, but I just have a whole mess of outstanding assignments, so at least 3 of my credits are listed as "incomplete" on my transcript, and they won't count as credits until I get the papers done and the profs have time to grade them and re-submit my final grade. Think months, not weeks. It's become so daunting that it's difficult for me to even seriously think about writing those papers, it seems way too huge for me to do.
+ I haven't been this depressed since I was in high school... I don't mean "depressed" as in the casual use of the term, I mean clinically depressed. When I was 15 I spent 8 weeks in a mental hospital because I was suicidal. It hasn't gotten quite that bad yet, but I've gotta say I've thought about it more in the last 6 months than I have in the last 10 years.
+ Oh, and I'm getting fat. I weigh a good 30lbs more now than I did a year ago. I think it's mood related because there's been no drastic changes in my eating and exercising habits... if anything I'm eating a more balanced diet and drinking less than I used to.
I feel physically ill.
+ I'm unemployed and looks like I will continue to be that way for a while.. all I want is an office assitant job, but there don't seem to be any of those (not even with temp agencies), just lots of service sector. Service jobs make me suicidal... I know that sounds dramatic, but it's not an exaggeration. I've had at least three jobs where I would wake up and cry every day because I had to go into work, where I would be treated like shit by customers and management alike. I would feel nausious on the bus going to work... there's one route that I still don't like to take to this day because it reminds me of a call centre job I had 4 years ago.
+ My student line of credit (which I've been living on since mid-April) is getting dangerously close to the maxed-out level. After I pay rent for July, there'll be about $1k left if I'm lucky, but probably a little less than that... sounds like a lot, but that's roughly what it takes for me to live for a month... the rent in this city is astronomical, that's where most of it goes. That and groceries. There's also a possibility that I won't be able to access it at all after the end of this month since I'm not a student anymore. I can't borrow money from my folks because they just bought a new house and said they have no cash to spare.
+ I'm not going to graduate uni any time soon and I don't have the heart to tell my parents. I was supposed to be part of a convocation on July 21, but there's no way it's happening at this point... It's fucked up because theoretically I could have all the credits I need, but I just have a whole mess of outstanding assignments, so at least 3 of my credits are listed as "incomplete" on my transcript, and they won't count as credits until I get the papers done and the profs have time to grade them and re-submit my final grade. Think months, not weeks. It's become so daunting that it's difficult for me to even seriously think about writing those papers, it seems way too huge for me to do.
+ I haven't been this depressed since I was in high school... I don't mean "depressed" as in the casual use of the term, I mean clinically depressed. When I was 15 I spent 8 weeks in a mental hospital because I was suicidal. It hasn't gotten quite that bad yet, but I've gotta say I've thought about it more in the last 6 months than I have in the last 10 years.
+ Oh, and I'm getting fat. I weigh a good 30lbs more now than I did a year ago. I think it's mood related because there's been no drastic changes in my eating and exercising habits... if anything I'm eating a more balanced diet and drinking less than I used to.
I feel physically ill.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
like synnove, i really hope things get better for you soon... have you thought about working as a library assitant? it's low stress and reasonably well-paid. it's worked for me, anyway