merrilee

The "table tap" is a lost art, much like the remove-your-glasses-dramatically-after-somebody-gives-you-news move.

The "table tap" is easy. After making a statement, of any degree of importance, simply extend your pointer finger and gently tap any supportive flat surface in front of you (preferably a table,hence the fucking name) twice. Now there has been arguments to whether or not three taps is considered "excessive showboating" , now personally I prefer a good solid two-tap. One. Pause. Two. The dramatic pause lets the recipient know that "Hey, I've thought a lot about this."

Examples:

"The subject of global warming should be taken seriously by both our local and state officials." *table tap*

"I thought that the book was boring and pedestrian." *table tap*

"Anal sex is a great way to prove your love for me." *table tap*


Nothing drives home a point more than a good solid "table tap".