merkat

Yeah, I got rid of the beast. It's gone. thank god.

I .... have problems. right now, school work is the last thing i want to do. i can't wake my mind up, i can't get it to think. this is what happens when i skip class so much. i start to become a slug. i think i'm getting sick. shocker. for those who don't know me, i am sick more than any non-diseased person on earth. in high school, people really started to worry about me because i was out sick so much, and when i was there, i looked like shit. i've somehow made it through 2 months without being sick, and now here it comes. from now until late spring/early summer, i will be perpetually ill. the greatest amount of consecutive time i am ever NOT sick in the fall/winter/spring, is 2 or 3 weeks. it's terrible. and i've always tried everything. i drink massive amounts of green tea and constantly wash my hands. my immune system will just never be strong. winters are so miserable for me.

all i want to do, all i can manage to do, is curl up in bed, listen to sunny day, and cry on and off. that's all i've been doing.

i wrote a letter to my pacsun loves. i had to type it so i wouldn't drip tears on the page. too fucking cheesy and emo, but too fucking true. i miss them more than my heart can take. it's all i can think about, how much i miss home. so much that i'm considering just saying fuck school, fuck debt, and putting a plane ticket on my credit card for next week to just visit for a few days. the only thing that stops me is not wanting to leave jason behind. my heart, is just ... so sad.