So. I struck out at all my attempts to get into a PHD program. For at least a year and a half, I'm out of the academic game and in the (shudder) real world.
This eats at me, largely because I'd gotten really excited about my proposed studies -- new media and religion, and how the everpresence of things like Facebook have changed how people relate to religion's place in the public sphere -- and partially because I had been assured by about six faculty members at UMKC that I would be a shoo-in, so I didn't apply to many other places. (OK, full disclosure: I only applied to UMKC and UIUC, where my girlfriend goes to school.) Stupid of me to trust in the promises of institutions, I suppose.
I don't really know what to do now. I'm not in any dire straits or anything -- I have a job that pays enough to get by, so I'm not in danger of losing everything and ending up in a gutter -- but Kansas City was always supposed to a stopover, not a destination. It's not that it's bad here, it's just... Not what I actually want. It's never felt like home. I figured I would be here for a few more years to do my PHD, but that's apparently not going to happen. So what? Do I pick up and move? Find a job in St. Louis and move back there? Try to find a job in Champaign (hah!) and move THERE?
Fuck if I know. All I know is that The Plan apparently has fallen apart, and I have no real idea of what to do next.
This eats at me, largely because I'd gotten really excited about my proposed studies -- new media and religion, and how the everpresence of things like Facebook have changed how people relate to religion's place in the public sphere -- and partially because I had been assured by about six faculty members at UMKC that I would be a shoo-in, so I didn't apply to many other places. (OK, full disclosure: I only applied to UMKC and UIUC, where my girlfriend goes to school.) Stupid of me to trust in the promises of institutions, I suppose.
I don't really know what to do now. I'm not in any dire straits or anything -- I have a job that pays enough to get by, so I'm not in danger of losing everything and ending up in a gutter -- but Kansas City was always supposed to a stopover, not a destination. It's not that it's bad here, it's just... Not what I actually want. It's never felt like home. I figured I would be here for a few more years to do my PHD, but that's apparently not going to happen. So what? Do I pick up and move? Find a job in St. Louis and move back there? Try to find a job in Champaign (hah!) and move THERE?
Fuck if I know. All I know is that The Plan apparently has fallen apart, and I have no real idea of what to do next.