Saturday Oct 11, 2003

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I just seek to live a life on fire, to burn clean, to remain in focus and avoid blurring myself in shades and alleyways.

there was once I would have chosen to live less presently, put away my eyeglasses and watch motion indirectly. I have considered it all and chosen none.

this really doesn't matter; in the end even words drip off the page and the ink returns to the soil. even stone crumbles and those dogmas set in them are reduced to sand by ages of waves.

i am adrift yet home; my words fall away with the breeze, leaving my thoughts to hibernate.
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mistressxxv:
Hey, doll. I hope you have been receiving my messages. You are missed, I tell you missed.

So contemplative are you. Away from yourself you are.
- so says master yoda anyway.

It seems to me Meph, you are adrift because you have fallen into a trap of not thinking, or perhaps acting, like yourself. And maybe I am full of shit. I don't know.

As an outsider, I see a change from the Meph I met some many months ago. The Meph of coffee, bowling, and of course sushi. Not that we do not change, but more that you seem less happy with your life than when we met. And again, perhaps I'm full of shit.

I certainly hope you are feeling much better. p tells me you were sick last week. Drop in and say hi when you get the chance. I miss our long conversations over sushi. 'Wish you were here.
dorian:
Have you ever read anything by Walter Pater. He too speaks off living and fire together. His coined phrase was "a hard gem-like flame". He was important to the Aesthetic movement and a mentor to Wilde, hence my caring about his opinions. Anyhow I think you'd like his stuff.

I wish you luck about your thoughts and in your head settledness.

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