For those (all) of you who missed the initial Pirate Thursdays last night, here's the craziness you missed... and it's a tale for the ages.
Pyratwilly, our friend Nate and I got there sometime around ten thirty. We got our pints and I put some music on the juke and the conversation began. Right around the time that I had finished my pint of delicious amber, a barfly was saying something, apparently to me, about my posture and how I should straighten up. I think I might have made eye contact--something you should never do with wild animals, unless you're prepared to deal with the consequences--and shortly after she came over and began to talk at us.
In her own words, she was "a prime example of nothing." She was wearing this white hat and big coke bottle glasses and had breath that smelled faintly of fruit, like a diabetic's. She would ramble on about things like smoking dope, her kids hiding drugs for her, jacking off, being 61, having an IQ of 144 and later 141 and her enjoyment of crossword puzzles and being wasted. One of the better quotes of the evening was that she was "61 and her pussy was cool."
This is how we met Donna.
Soon, Nate got up to get us boilermakers and pyrat began the real festivities, telling Donna that Nate like to fuck anything--women, men, animals, hampsters, and especially chickens. We told her about me having ten kids in seven states from three current wives--two sets of twins, even. pyrat and her got into a heated debate as he proclaimed his love for men, ass, and his support for the catholic church's practice of screwing little boys. We illuminated her about our dildo buisness and debated amongst ourselves whether to outsource slave labor to malaysia or to keep it here and employ russian and european immigrants. We did everything we could to fuck with poor, drunk Donna's mind. She kept saying how much she liked my nose, that she thought I was the cutest, that she liked me, and even kissed my hand when I shook hers after we claimed to have a business meeting with a violent psychotic at 11:30, when we left.
We laughed all the way home. It was mean and cruel, but funny. If the rest of the Pirate Thursdays are anything like this one, I don't want to miss a thing.
P.S.--and of course we toasted to Thursday.
Pyratwilly, our friend Nate and I got there sometime around ten thirty. We got our pints and I put some music on the juke and the conversation began. Right around the time that I had finished my pint of delicious amber, a barfly was saying something, apparently to me, about my posture and how I should straighten up. I think I might have made eye contact--something you should never do with wild animals, unless you're prepared to deal with the consequences--and shortly after she came over and began to talk at us.
In her own words, she was "a prime example of nothing." She was wearing this white hat and big coke bottle glasses and had breath that smelled faintly of fruit, like a diabetic's. She would ramble on about things like smoking dope, her kids hiding drugs for her, jacking off, being 61, having an IQ of 144 and later 141 and her enjoyment of crossword puzzles and being wasted. One of the better quotes of the evening was that she was "61 and her pussy was cool."
This is how we met Donna.
Soon, Nate got up to get us boilermakers and pyrat began the real festivities, telling Donna that Nate like to fuck anything--women, men, animals, hampsters, and especially chickens. We told her about me having ten kids in seven states from three current wives--two sets of twins, even. pyrat and her got into a heated debate as he proclaimed his love for men, ass, and his support for the catholic church's practice of screwing little boys. We illuminated her about our dildo buisness and debated amongst ourselves whether to outsource slave labor to malaysia or to keep it here and employ russian and european immigrants. We did everything we could to fuck with poor, drunk Donna's mind. She kept saying how much she liked my nose, that she thought I was the cutest, that she liked me, and even kissed my hand when I shook hers after we claimed to have a business meeting with a violent psychotic at 11:30, when we left.
We laughed all the way home. It was mean and cruel, but funny. If the rest of the Pirate Thursdays are anything like this one, I don't want to miss a thing.
P.S.--and of course we toasted to Thursday.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
joubee:
Again, you write way too much to read...Im diLeXik for christs sake. Yes, I miss you too and I can do your hair after the 1st..its probably long enough to work on now...I kind of want to do a queer eye for the straight guy dealy on you so save some bucks.
clara:
You are the nicest man. 