I inherently distrust any sort of compliment, thought I may still enjoy the praise. I cannot afford to think of myself in any sort of accomplished light since thes types of thoughts will not maintain the level of functionality that I prefer. If I were to relax on myself, that is to say gather my laurels and say I'm all right, I would cease the momentum I have sought and fought to gain. That is not to say that I must abandon all strength of self and believe in deprecating thoughts. I must keep quiet, remove any sort of notion of self and yet keep the core identity true and whole. I need not function great to function well, for excess can damage just as well as shortage.
sleep; i need sleep.
ps forget all of that, let go of the words said and heard and find out what it means to let yourself let go of your Self, as every night those eyes turn up to the moon and ask why not me? only to envy and desire my own interstellar rest spot, a hilltop among the stars to lie upon and think, for once, think and let the thoughts flee out into the ether, the long dark passages beyond what is and come to what could be, but it's just my head bowing again, realizing these thoughts have caught up with me and there is no fight to be found and no flight to be had, just jacob wrestling with god once more to figure out, what, figure out the nothing that comes with sitting on that icy lake surrounded by silence, only the beating of one's heart defining them, leaving them wholly human and void of all identity, just a cardiovascular being contained in a vacuum with no need for personality, no need for political ideology, no need for affiliations or obscure ideas on philosophical queries, just one breath after the last, and only now can it all begin, can it continue, can it end in the fashion it was meant to, just one body in motion running towards that setting sun, towards that rising moon, time and essence forgotten as the voice of the runner echoes through the neighborhoods
"let go, people, let go one and all and allow freedom to come in, allow freedom to flow out, you hold the chains, they do not hold you, just let go, let go, let go"
sleep; i need sleep.
ps forget all of that, let go of the words said and heard and find out what it means to let yourself let go of your Self, as every night those eyes turn up to the moon and ask why not me? only to envy and desire my own interstellar rest spot, a hilltop among the stars to lie upon and think, for once, think and let the thoughts flee out into the ether, the long dark passages beyond what is and come to what could be, but it's just my head bowing again, realizing these thoughts have caught up with me and there is no fight to be found and no flight to be had, just jacob wrestling with god once more to figure out, what, figure out the nothing that comes with sitting on that icy lake surrounded by silence, only the beating of one's heart defining them, leaving them wholly human and void of all identity, just a cardiovascular being contained in a vacuum with no need for personality, no need for political ideology, no need for affiliations or obscure ideas on philosophical queries, just one breath after the last, and only now can it all begin, can it continue, can it end in the fashion it was meant to, just one body in motion running towards that setting sun, towards that rising moon, time and essence forgotten as the voice of the runner echoes through the neighborhoods
"let go, people, let go one and all and allow freedom to come in, allow freedom to flow out, you hold the chains, they do not hold you, just let go, let go, let go"
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
so i've snuck into your dreams huh? anything note worthy? i'm always curious about how people dream me. i used to have a boyfriend that dreamt about me dying all the time. strange.