mentula

DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! POETRY ALERT! A POEM IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!


I Just Want to Date Your Butt


I just don't think we should date.
I mean we're not really compatible
You think money's important and I don't
You like to shop, and, if they started targeting shopping malls, I'd be willing to join Al-Queda.
You voted for George Bush and I have a brain.
And besides if we were to date I bet your husband would object.

So it's best we don't see each other.

But you know there are some things I still like about you. I like your eyes. I like your smile. And I really, really like your butt.
You have a great butt.
It's a wonder-butt.

So I was wondering, if some friday night, when you had no plans for your butt, if it's okay...I would like to date your butt.

Just your butt, the rest of you can stay home.

I promise to be a gentleman on our first date. I will hold out the seat for your butt at the restaurant and when I drop it off home I'll just give it a nice little kiss on the cheek.

Cuz I'm not just looking for a piece of ass! No, I want a deep and meaningful relationship with your whole butt.

And one day I hope we can fall in love and move into together. I would spend hours gazing lovingly at your butt and I'm sure it would be giving me the eye. We wouldn't be just bosum buddies....NO! We would become soul-mates and when we get a place of our own we will make mad love in every room of the house. The bedroom, the bathroom, the living-room even the kitchen on the table on the counter on the stove...who knows we might even have a bun in the oven.

I understand that if your butt and I get together we will have plenty of shit to deal with...but I'm prepared to wipe...away its tears or...whatever.

So PLEASE let me date your butt.

And we'll live happily ever after...to the end