The Word of the Day for July 05 is:
Elucidate - \ih-LOO-suh-dayt\ verb
1 : to make lucid especially by explanation or analysis
*2 : to give a clarifying explanation
I went to court yesterday morning. It's true. Nooo...not for the prostitution ring or the cubic tons of heroine I smuggle in from Mexico. I haven't actually been caught for those felonies. Nope...I went before judge someone or other for the speeding ticket I was issued on my birthday back in January. Cock sucking goat fucking mother sodomizing bastard cop. Here is my tale:
My name gets called and I approach the bench. Mrs. Judges assistant someone or other asks if I would like to plead guilt or not guilty. I simply say, "Neither". She looks at me like I'm stupid, just before I clairfy by requesting deferred adjudication. The contempt in her eyes is replaced with admiration. I think she likes me. The judge is cool with this wise course of action. Then it hits me like a pie to the face, "This is going to cost me a testicle. I have no money. What will I do?!?" I resort to the only leverage I have available...pity. I lean over to Mrs. Judges assistant someone or other and quietly whisper to her, "How much is this going to cost? My roommate abandoned my apartment and stuck me with a lease so I don't have any money." She stops what she is doing, looks at me with open pity, and suggests I tell the judge. I lean up against the bench so the judge can hear me more clearly and in my most pathetic voice faintly whisper, "Excuse me your honor, but I am very very poor." He either found me funny or sad because he granted my extension of payment. Whoop. Then I talked to Mrs. Judges assistant someone or other about rent control for about a minute while EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COURT ROOM WAITED. Suckers.
Did anyone notice that at no point in my story was I ever asked for my ID? I could have sent a homeless man to do all this shit for me and no one would have had any clue. I doubt a bum could have been as smooth however.
Also...I was one of four white guys. There were no white chicks.
Elucidate - \ih-LOO-suh-dayt\ verb
1 : to make lucid especially by explanation or analysis
*2 : to give a clarifying explanation
I went to court yesterday morning. It's true. Nooo...not for the prostitution ring or the cubic tons of heroine I smuggle in from Mexico. I haven't actually been caught for those felonies. Nope...I went before judge someone or other for the speeding ticket I was issued on my birthday back in January. Cock sucking goat fucking mother sodomizing bastard cop. Here is my tale:
My name gets called and I approach the bench. Mrs. Judges assistant someone or other asks if I would like to plead guilt or not guilty. I simply say, "Neither". She looks at me like I'm stupid, just before I clairfy by requesting deferred adjudication. The contempt in her eyes is replaced with admiration. I think she likes me. The judge is cool with this wise course of action. Then it hits me like a pie to the face, "This is going to cost me a testicle. I have no money. What will I do?!?" I resort to the only leverage I have available...pity. I lean over to Mrs. Judges assistant someone or other and quietly whisper to her, "How much is this going to cost? My roommate abandoned my apartment and stuck me with a lease so I don't have any money." She stops what she is doing, looks at me with open pity, and suggests I tell the judge. I lean up against the bench so the judge can hear me more clearly and in my most pathetic voice faintly whisper, "Excuse me your honor, but I am very very poor." He either found me funny or sad because he granted my extension of payment. Whoop. Then I talked to Mrs. Judges assistant someone or other about rent control for about a minute while EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COURT ROOM WAITED. Suckers.
Did anyone notice that at no point in my story was I ever asked for my ID? I could have sent a homeless man to do all this shit for me and no one would have had any clue. I doubt a bum could have been as smooth however.
Also...I was one of four white guys. There were no white chicks.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
maibey:
lordmuppet:
i always liked that word it makes me feel clever 