Sunday Nov 21, 2004

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I've been thinking a lot about love recently. Why has it been easier for older generations to make it last? Our grandparents and parents generation found love much earlier that mine. At my age my mother and father had already had both me and my sister...by several years. I think it boils down to the simple fact that people my age don't know what love is. Oh...we think we do...but we don't. Most couples I know don't last much longer than 6 months...hell...my longest relationship wasn't much more than that.

So the question is...what is love. I believe it is nothing more that an intimate respectful relationship with your best friend. Friendship is sooo essential to any long term relationship, and in my opinion the very core of love. The problem with people my age is that they think that being 'In love' IS love...no. Being 'In love' is just that giddy feeling you get when you first start falling in love. True love is exactly the same thing as love you feel for your friends but to the Nth degree. It's a deeper form of the same thing, and couples that 'fall out of love' are just confusing that transitional phase out of the giddiness. You aren't always supposed to feel the way you do when a relationship first starts.

Look at any successful long term marriage. Look at what love is to them, and ask yourself...is that what I expect from my partner?
jayde__:
While I agree that friendship is extremely essential to any sucecssful longterm relationship and that there is a REALM of difference between "love" and "in love," I think that love itself varies from person to person and relationship to relationship. Certainly there are different kinds of love. And a relationship still might not work out just because you love someone. I think the reason our generation has so many problems with longterm stuff is simple. We're all lazy and impatient. We're used to instant gratifucation and anything other than that feels unacceptable. Relationships take work, but there are few people who really want that. I think the trick -- and the hard part -- is finding someone for whom you're willing to work. Once you find that person, I think everything else will seem so much easier.

Of course, it's almost 5:20 a.m. here, and I'm rambling aimlessly. Feel free to just ignore this.
kamille:
i would like to add to the above comment by saying that it also takes meeting someone who thinks you are worth working for, too. it can't be one-sided, and that's where fate/luck/serendipity comes in: helping you find that person. but, if you're right (menotyou), it shouldn't be too hard... just look around at your friends. wink

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