menno

Expectation levels.

It is funny that we all build our own expectation levels and when that expectation isn't filled in as we wanted to, we feel hurt, angry, sad, disappointed etc etc. But if you take one moment and allow yourself to take a step back and realise that we created that expectation our self, you will understand that nobody can live up to it, no matter how hard they try.

Is it easy to let those go? It depends on if you placed them yourself or if someone triggered something for you to create them.
But even if someone else triggered something that made you create one, it is up to you.
All i can say is, letting go definitely makes your world better.

Relationship communication is a brilliant example of it and i failed it several times.
To give you a perfect simple example, Being too clingy and so wanting a hug from your partner, and when that wasn't given, i felt hurt and unwanted.
And from that point on things are just simply going down hill, while you think you are doing nothing wrong.
But without even saying something, you are pushing your partner away cause no matter what he or she does, it is impossible to comfort you or to show you there side of the story.
All that can comfort you is an answer that exactly matches your expectation level.

In my opinion, if we boil things down, we do and don't do a lot of things out of fear.
Instead of communicating directly and open and saying what is going on, we let fear take over and the outcome is far from what you wanted.
So if i take a look at how i acted, is that my needs back then was nothing but insecurity and insecurity is nothing but fear.

Fear stops any creation.

More to come...