memry

yesterday,,

I BROUGHT IAN HOME WITH ME!

that month just made our love
stronger then ever.. were ready to figure our lives
out.. and we want to talk about getting married.


no words can honestly describe the way he makes me feel.
expecially holding him after a month away..
ian douglas mcgrath, till death do us part babe.

i went to the
house of corrections today
to visit ian..
i couldn't get in because i'm on probation
(fuck the system!!)
but his father was there and
delivered a few messages for me..

i guess when his dad said i was in the waiting room
his eyes got all big and he kept standing up to see if he could see me..
and he...
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i fucking LOVE glassjaw. (and miss them..)
And...
Am I worshipping or am I tributing?
Crumbling, ripping and failing.


Welcome to Hollywood girl.
Wake the fuck up in Hollywood whore.
Combine the throbbin' in my head
With the rhythm of my fucking feet.
Say a novena for all those lost
And read the bloodstains on the sheets.
I've whored myself for less than this
And...
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i think he lied.

in the past few days i've almost
gotten put in framingham
women's jail because
of my association with ian.


i've started one chapter
in my life
and today i'm closing it..


welcome to the new me.

so delish tattooist =
we smoked a quarter apple blunt
and had the best kissing sesh ever.

best kiss i've had in a long time.

trophy scars played in ashland at the VFW tonight,
and it was honestly fucking incredible.
the bassist from ABC bought me a 40 and bought
kay a bottle of parrot bay.. drove around with him..

we got wasted in my...
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a tattoo apprentice.
he has both sleeves and a chestpiece.
he wants serial killer portraits
on his back.. big greenish grey eyes.

"hope.." is tattooed on his hand.

he calls me gorgeous.

the love of my life
is in jail, but i'm slowly
getting more and more
turned on by this tattooist..
just by the way he looks at me..
and sends me text messages...
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Ian's still in jail.
it's making my heart
hurt more and more
each day that he's in there.

on another note,
i completely fainted/
had a mini seizure
from hitting a 3 foot
bong last night..


WTF IS HAPPENING TO ME?!

ian's in jail.
and the last words he
mouthed before they took him away
was "i love you, i'll be out soon".


he gets out mid july unless we have $1,040 cash bail.



please god,
bring my baby back home to me.
make sure he's safe. and make
sure he knows he's loved and coming
home to rest in my arms.




FREE IAN MCGRATH!