memelynch

coldness settles easily into my bones.
bones that i start to feel i should be seeing more of.
that's febuary.
the overwhelming feeling of feeling overwhelmed.
frozen ground
frozen tears
and i sit fuckin frozen in this malaise.

coffee
tea
wine
...my only salvation

(and some tylenol pm when shit gets real rough)

I celebrated life yesterday.
I have deemed every Febuary 17th Celebration of Life Day.
An excuse to get drunk on champagne and toast the need for spring in our bones and then two bowls later, go to bed.
I believe it comes at no better time. Febuary, the shortest month, seems to drag on forever in it's sheer bleakness. But ever so often it teases...
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food poisoning. i've decided that my stomach and i have a hate hate relationship cuz even when it allows me to feel well my head makes me feel guilty for feeding it. so maybe my head and i have a hate hate relationship.
someone thought i was a suicide girl today it made me very happy.
free play is a very good book.
my boyfriend...
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four o clock hang overs are the worst.
especially when they occur at 12:30.
i was shaking.
it blew.

So i'm pretty sure that i have Epstien-barr Virus. But not mono. had that. and i can't figure out the difference between them. which is really rather frustrating because i KNOW there is a a difference. And i've tried to look it up on md.com, to get some sort of diagnosis, which i don't trust anyway (the whole online diagnosis). But all i know is...
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I kissed a girl once
and it felt like kissing me
and for once i bought the thought that i could love what i could be

I kissed a boy once
and it felt like kissing him
and for once i loved the thought that i could finally give in

I kissed a child once
and it felt like kissing god
and for once i...
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