melvina

it's 8 thirty. i'm out of coffee and it's too cold to go get some. really. i'm dying, here. have to take ponch to the vet in an hour, anyway. so i sit.

4 more days.

there are people still aat my house from last night. i have been awake on and off all night. i am tired of seeing other people in my house. i have started the morning my re-piercing my nose and hitting my head with my fist more than five times. hitting the wall more than twice. and managing to have every thing i touch this morning TURN OUT WRONG.
no time for coffee, no time for tea, no patience for beer being spilled all over my house and people almost pissing on my door.
i hate today.
i'll call you later. sweet talk me and it'll make me feel better.
madlove. mel (and love to ponch.)

rawr... that is probably a good idea. i wish you didn't have to do it at all. and i wish i could be with you in dallas. i looked at prices but i don't think i can afford it. but. i will go sit on jules the 22nd. and bring her things. and i'll be with you in my heart.

YAY. i am so glad you will go sit on jules. i want to beck, i just don't think i'd be any good at all in town that week. you know. ending up in jail and on would be bad because i'd just get angry. there is no jusitce for jules, after a year of trying. and i hate it.
i hope jeremiah does not show up that night but i bet he will just to make people feel sorry for him even though he's fucked around so much since he killed her and apparently has knocked up micheal foster's sister, for gods sake.
fuck. meh. fuck, meh meh.
i have to go back to work. my boss is talking to me like i'm a resident there and it's pissing me off a lot and i am trying like hell to keep my temper. gr!
i have to call mike in the next week or so to make an appointment for chest or not. i feel extremely guilty about rushing the artist just because i want some pain therapy. you can torture me later and get all your time back. or. you know. i can move and just make it up to you.
madlove. mel

sorry i didn't call back last night. fell asleep. so. when you wake up, call. hope everything goes well today. i love you more than anything. call me after the doc. if you feel up to it. i'll be thinking of you.

my heart.
-beck.

it's ok the gsm lines here weren't working last night. so. my line woul dhave been dead any way. love.you.too.

i feel like i should start packing. i wish i was coming home tomorrow.

dreams were weird but i can't really piece them together, i just know that i'm still pissed off this mornign.
well. actually. i was fine until house boy came and plopped down on the couch when i've said time.and.time.again.
in the morning, i get ONE HOUR of alon time to myself, every day, and i enjoy it and to LEAVE IT ALONE.
he took it personally when i sighed and went back into the bedroom.
i'm tired. and i really didn't want to start my day like this. but you know what.
fuck it. you're home in 15 days. and counting.

i sent you my itinerary. got the ticks. flying into lex on the 20th, should be in somerset by dinnertime.

yay.yay.yay.
except there's one problem.
i leave that morning to go to dallas. i won't be back until the 28th.
but.
you will be here until the uhm.. 6th, right? right before Our birthday. that will be lovely and i can't.fucking.wait.
now if only i can stuff you in my duffle bag (which I]is body sized, you know..) and get you to dallas with me for a few days...

o.k. i am off for sure the weekend of x-mas. but i might have to work the 20th, which means i couldn't leave until the 21st. or. 22nd... but, i have more. negotiating to do. later tonight. before work. ug. wish me luck. i'm going to try to get new years weekend off, which is looking good. so that means i'd be home for a little more than 2 weeks. i'll try for longer, if i can. but. we'll see. i think it would be asking a bit too much. meh. anyway. i'll talk to you when i hear more.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. that's all i have to say at 9am after being told i could have cancer. yeah. i'm awake now but at least i have SOME good news. (don't freak, beck. i have a biopsy on thursday.) i'm doing enough for the both of us.

rawr. head still. out of sorts. but in an achey way, and not as much... the other way. going to the coffee shop to get some chai tea and write a bit. things taste less like poison now and more like plain ol' mucous. yay for beck. love muchly. and soon. i'll see you. <3 too.

rawr, sigh. at least there was some feeling-better-ness going on there. madlove.

slept crappily last night. again. up at 7. again. hopefully today i'll actually get a hold of you. or you'll get a hold of me. or. something... bah. it's supposed to rain today. i hope it is not so cold. nothing new on this end of the world. i'm going to try to make some phone calls today and get the time off i need. wish me luck, i have a bad feeling about it.

i slept crappily last night as well. bah for us. today is.. hum.. tuesday.. so. i'll cally ou on one of my breaks or you can call me after 4:30 my time when all the big wigs leave.. we're not supposed to have phones on the floor any more but eh. you know. must.hear.your.voice.
luck, luck, luck, babe. with the getting-the-time-off. i'm crossing my fingers cause i would surely love to have you with me. so.selfish. <3

i wish i could have had that dream. my dream was that i was in the bar, and everyone was trying to make me play led zeppilin. and i don't like led zeppilin. at all. and then there was this thing where everyone was dressing up as led zeppilin, except they told me i couldn't because my legs were too fat. but. i think i was secretly happy. because. i swear, fuck led zeppilin, mel. fuck them. they are not that good. they really aren't.

saw goat this morning, he said he called you. i was sad because i tried to call before i went to work, but my phone went dead half-way through dialing your number. but. i miss my mel.

and. above all. mel... i really just don't think led zeppilin is that great. please tell them to leave me alone about led zeppilin. i just. don't. like. that. band. at. all.

rarg. this job is driving me mad.

i will try to call tomorrow, i am off work all day. yay of all yays! i love you, babe. i wish i could talk to you right now. i wanted to ask you some things. anyway. talk to you later.

love.
-beck.

MEH. MEH TO LED ZEPPLIN.
pure hate and loathing for them. as i. i hate them too. ah. we are not alone, beck.
i will beat them and tell them to leave you be. because there will be NO playing of led zepplin in the bar.
i will call you tonight, if you want. i should also send you a new phone. i have one i do not use that is neat looking but it is not cordless. meh. any way.
i have not talked to goat today but i talked to him yesterday laying on jules. we talked about vortexes. and about the fact that i really should relocate.
i work tomorrow but you call me any way if we don't get in touch tonight. i love you, babe. i've got to go back to work. tell goat the dream. it was neat as fuck. madlove.