melvina

my whole body is tired. i can do crossword puzzles in bad lighting, with a pen and no problem but i can barely think.

i have a lot on the brain. mainly, monsters.

i don't know what to do with myself. being unemployed presents opportunity for being social but being social for me is difficult and i loathe change and therefore. cannot take the present situation of no job because that means. no money. and. all that adult stuff.

i cling to my responsibilities to keep my head above water. and. being jobless makes me anxious and insane.

so i'm sitting here smoking cigarettes like a chain and drinking water from a gallon jug. i have a headache. i have for over two days now. the fair is in town. which makes me think only of jules, beck and funnel cake. carnies that hit on us and the fun of tards at the fair. i refuse to go now, i believe. not without my ladies.

i am itching to see becky. be. in. the same room. with you, hyena. i wish. i were in a better situation to afford it. and lift us both up a little. it's bothering me in a great way because i feel a strong need to see you.

any way. so here is jules and me in a bar in NOLA. and also. jules and i in the street some where down there. lighting is bad but i couldn't fix it so well. i miss her pretty face. and as for me- i only miss my hair. <3