beck.
last night i wandered around the dirty parts of nola, where my dreams always are- and was pulled aside by willie to an upstairs bar sort-of-thing, a combination between snake's and goat's place with the railings. any way. he said things to me, about jules and even she was there, i think... and i can see his lips moving right now in my head but i cannot understand him. sigh. i need to call goat. and i need to get on the road. lunch with the uncles. and where else? but the evil. ponderosa. which i loathe. as well. mad love. more later.
last night i wandered around the dirty parts of nola, where my dreams always are- and was pulled aside by willie to an upstairs bar sort-of-thing, a combination between snake's and goat's place with the railings. any way. he said things to me, about jules and even she was there, i think... and i can see his lips moving right now in my head but i cannot understand him. sigh. i need to call goat. and i need to get on the road. lunch with the uncles. and where else? but the evil. ponderosa. which i loathe. as well. mad love. more later.
love you. more. than anything.
beck.
i am special.
and i am insane. my aunt is in and i had lunch with the uncles this morning and my aunt says. mel. we really must talk. CALL ME.
and to myself, i think. HMM? what could this be. (probably not grand since it's coming from her.) and what do you know. i call my mom. ask her wtf is up. and.
my aunt wants to give me the it's-time-to-get-on-with-your-life speech. AS IF THIS WERE THE RIGHT TIME OF YEAR TO GIVE THAT TO ME.
anger.
ANGER.
and as if that weren't enough. farmer's mom caught me at wal-mart this morning and decided to start in on the. it's-not-the-kid-in-the-trucks-fault-cause-i-know-the-mother BLAH BLAH BLAH. i hate them all. this is not the right time. there will never be a right time. i will never go on with my life. i will never recover. and who would. after losing some thing like her. some thing like jules.
sigh. beck. to hell with them. and to peru with us. i'll call you after the weekend. i hope it goes all right. tell all i said hello for me, will you? and. stuff.
mad. mad. mad love, baby.
<3