melody

i dont know what to do...anymore...i feel like im out of choices.... now my car wont start at all... im almost ouf of contact solution... i have zero money...like in the negatives and shit... i have no source of income at all... i hate asking people to borrow money so i dont... my mother wont even help me but i dont blame her... how the fuck am i going to get a job with no car?... i have nobody to help me because i dont have any friends... i have a total of 3 friends... and one is going out of town for 2 weeks... our dog has heart worms and how the fuck are we going to pay for a vet bill ...so im scared and very sad cuz hes such a good dog and i love him... i want to bash my head in the wall and never wake up....

on the bright side i might get to go to houston to see my family... i miss my mother and my sister so much..its been over a year since ive seen them last...my sister is almost 16 and id ont even know how tall she is anymore... i havent spoken to her in 6 months because shes vevy pissed off at me... i cant help it if i care for her so much that i get worried when she does drugs and i told my mother...she was going over board with it so i had to say something so now she thinks im against her which is totally stupid.... hopefully she will talk to me when i go to houston... ill be only goingfor a couple of days but that is plenty long enough for me because i would do anything just to have 1 dinner with my family....

i went out weds night for keoki... it was cool and i had alot of fun cept dirty old men kept on hitting on me and asking me for my number... i didnt know how to tell em to fuck off without being rude... im not used to going out cuz i never do...

i danced my ass off and im paying for it even today i hurt haha... i bet alot of guys got ass shots cuz the short ass skirt i was wearing..

ahhh im going to go back to bed...