melluka

ok... so i have choosen to do me... i have been through a lot in a matter of a week... to a month... i feel like i have grown a lot... started to get comfortable with who i am both in body and learning more about my mind... lol

found out that a relationship that i thought was going to be it... wasn't... and had to deal with him becoming my ex and rommate... to me having to be true to myself and starting the new chapter to where i live on my own and start to focus on the things that matter most...

than feeling smitten... to the point that i never thought i would feel like this... than having to be the strong one and stand back as things work out to whatever they are meant to be... living in my own head... and not really knowing what to do. just knowing that i wish things were easier and that him and i could be happy... i'm a little bit of a control freak and for once i am coming to the terms that i can't control this one... and i wont lie i really wish i could.

all i have to keep my hoping is an email that ends with "this is not goodbye."

all i can do is hope that he is alright and that he knows that i am here for him if he needs me...

ok that is deep... and i dont normally voice my thoughts like that because of fear... or rejuction... but at this point... i need to be me. and i guess i'm a person who is deep...