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mellisa

I'm a small town girl in a great big city

Member Since 2005

Followers 99 Following 51

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Wednesday Jan 17, 2007

Jan 17, 2007
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read at your own risk

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


8 years ago i lived about 10 blocks from my mother
8 years ago you still had a voice
8 years ago i ran 10 blocks in my barefeet, shorts and a tshirt in subzero weather with a foot of snow on the ground.
8 years ago you still had a smile
8 years ago i still had a brother.

Loss comes in waves, and whoever said that time heals all wounds is a fucking liar. 8 years is 8 minutes. its never ending. grief cracks life, in half. there is a very distinct moment of utter seperation from the before and after. and the after forever drifts farther and farther away from the before, and you can never go back.

i miss my big brother

as my mother sits behind me, crying in my presense for the first time as she reads this i find myself biting my tounge. but i cant, so she will have to see my grief in words, because thats the only way i can show it.

dear john warner from mattoon area illinois: fuck you, fuck you in the ass with a fire hot double prong salt covered iron fire poker. you are a peice of shit drunk coward who left my brother to die on the side of the road at 4am in the freezing cold. you drove away, and destroyed my family. and you got away with it. but you will live with it in your mind for the rest of your life, and someday, someday you will have to face what you did. i dont belive in god or hell, but i know for a fact that rat coward bastards like you do pay for it all in the end. i hope the grief rips at you. i wish nightmares of tourtured souls on you every night, i fucking hate you.

ive never said any of that outloud. 8 years ive been silent, ive cried so much it hurts. i miss my big brother

fuck, do i miss my big brother.



Always Loved, Always Missed
Stephan Aaron Grigsby
June 25th 1976 - January 17th 1999




VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ninjaprodigy:
...

just would hug you if you were in front of me, then...buy you a drink..or 10.
Take care
Jan 20, 2007
northern:
Hugs!

Sorry - had to give you a big hug.

I know it's pretty meaningless, but from a distance, it's all I can offer.

Wish I could say something helpful.
Jan 21, 2007

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