melley

Ok,

I had to write a in my blog cause I just don't know what else to do. I just called by boyfriend, and he sounded really different. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't tell me until finally he told me "Spenser is dead"

Spenser is the field manager where I play paintball. He has been a friend since I was 12. He always joked, and told Mike how beautiful I was, which meant the world to me since I doubt it most of the time. He was full of energy and life. His goal was to go to Afghanistan and help others. He never got to live his dream, cause he's gone.

Spenser went to a cottage Friday and was drinking. He ended up taking E and passed out. In the morning he was found dead against the wall. Its not fair....if only he knew.

I feel so raw, so sick, so empty. Flagswipe (paintball field) will never be the same. No longer can I go downstairs and see his smiling face.

I know he is responsible, but I feel so bad. It could have been prevented.

I don't know what to do or say.......
Spenser you will be remembered <3