melixanna

I've thought about writing a book. If for nothing more than to be hopefully maybe an inspiration to those stuck in similar situations that I have been in. Maybe I should get some help first though and go/finish college. It is hard to say "hey look, just because you were poor and had the hell beat out of you and multiple other things happen to you that should never happen to any woman does NOT mean you can not become a productive citizen of society and have a semi-normal life."

So.. I think in order to kind of have that inspirational ending I need to become at least semi-sane and probably productive heh. I think more than anything the drive to write anything has to do with my wanting to put something out there other then the textbook. Either A: omgs my life was so awful now I must whine and complain and make the government and any other branch of society I can think of pay. B: you must reach through the fiery walls of hell and punish every living male for what happened to you! blame it on the men! or C: all the talk show shit and psychobabble.

I guess I'm a strong believer that as long as you managed to survive a bit of insanity is ok. No one else is going to survive for you. No one else is going to pick you up off the floor. Until you decide for yourself that you are worth something, that you have a right to live as much as anyone else, there will be no true help. Yes, people can ~try~ and help you. They can try and get you to see what you are worth, etc. etc.(I really hate when ppl try, it pisses me off. sounds so fake and bullshitty) but truly until you , yourself realize it. Nothing is going to work.

So, wipe the blood off your face, put some concealer on those bruises and get the fuck off the floor!