melissabird

really struggling mentally with my future plans...I just don't know what to do with my life. I'm just about 36, been divorced, no children, wanting a baby really badly right now......my BF of 3 yrs just doesn't want a kid and refuses to talk about it. I'm trying to get off my Paxil so I can see where my head is at after that as...
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not much going on.....having a hard time the past week with my Paxil withdrawal symptoms, dizzy, nauseaus, fatigued, major headache every night.....I've been having that baby bug big time....maternal instinct I guess, happened in my 20's now again....so I'm trying to get off Paxil all together and see where my head is at then.....I'm gonna be 36 next month so times a wastin'....
on a...
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my friend treated me to some S&M the other night: pillowcase over my head, hitting, choking, spitting all over me, sitting on my chest and making me suck his cock and his balls, tied me up every which way, fucked me....*sigh* so good...then he untied me and we loved each other til we came

He asked for me ....I can't say no to him....my drug. In the dark I feel his lips press against mine, his tongue dancing in my mouth. His breath on my neck, his hands all over me. Puling me close to him....he wants my arms around him.....he said he needed my warmth tonite.....as much as he pushes me away sometimes, he always comes back to...
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i like girls today

Men: NEVER DO THIS!
i was just having a conversation with a male friend of mine....I asked him what he thought of nose hoops on women, I just got one cuz I wanted a different nose ring than what I've been wearing for years, then I mentioned I cut and colored my hair and want new glasses....basically saying I was working on a new look...
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the following blog may be fiction or may be nonfiction:
maybe its my life...maybe its just how I feel about things sometimes.....in my fantasies....
*sigh*....some men just don't get it....i came to the realization tonite that its over between me and the "friend"...(don't judge me)....I understand men don't want to get feelings and shit involved but at least make me feel like a human being....if...
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i'm horny..........kinda wish I was at a strip club with a gorgeous girl on my lap....maybe she'd think I was cute and wanna makeout...lol.....*sigh*....

Back from DisneyWorld. Had a BLAST!!!!! weather was hot, but can't complain because it didn't rain the whole time we were there!.
*I was terrified to go on Tower of Terror and it turned out to be my favorite ride!!!
*Aerosmith Rockin' Rollercoaster scared the shit out of me, the takeoff was way too intense for me, the rest of the ride i had to...
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I'm off to DisneyWorld on wed. I am so excited!!!!! terrified about the plane ride tho, one of my biggest fears, I will be medicated tho.

the band is JANUS.....my friend on facebook let me know......I want the album....they rule!!!!