melinko

New Pic


Photoshop YAY cut out ugly background added stars

In an update:
I think for the first time I realised something I probably should have a longtime ago. But for starters I will make everyone aware of the fact that this is no pity-me spree I had a great day yesterday so its not all about Valentines day and the "lovey dovey" bullshit that comes with it. I got flowers and teddy's from friend's which I am grateful for and yes sure for a little while I said aww's because all the happy people come into work with there loved one's and I didnt have one but the day got better. After the flowers me and always_kt drove around and talked about whatever for a while and I decided I was going to pull over and we were going to take abunch of balloons from an apartment complex and bring them back up to work and suck the helium out and sing like chipmunks. So we do that and all is well and good and once my light headeness *hence all the helium* fades away I started realising things.

Ok so this whole "day of love" is just all crap. I am beging to think that I will never find one to love just because of the fact that I am such a pain in the ass. Sure you have the random people tell you your beautiful whatever I have heard it all and I am tired of hearing the same shit. I am by far not the most beautiful girl in the world and I feel bad for the ones who look better in pics then I do because I am sure they get worst then I do. I have never really been in a relationship where everything just works and those that seem like they might work something happens and my mind shuts off and says no I am not doing this. Yes I am 18 and have none of these things to worry about because I have many more years to come. Like I said just thoughts lately...As children most little girls are brought up with an idealistic view of love. Like the princesses in their stories they want to live happily ever after but of course that naver happens until they find their prince charming. And mommy always tells you you deserve the best and never settle for anything but that. I have only seen marriages fail or end up as open relationships which i fail to understand but thats ok. My view on love and happiness is so messed together its one big blur and its all extremly over rated. I want to hear something original so pull out something beond and behold because I am tired of hearing the same shit millions of other girls are told. And then it all comes back to the fact that one day fucked me up because I really enjoy being alone no one can hurt me and I cant hurt them.....So why all this rambling I have no clue so sorry if I bored you but hey at least I put a new pic up to take out some of the sting So now that this journal entry has one the rambling of the year award I am off Hope everyone survived the horrific holiday

Added pics of last night:
*everybody got flowers:

*but who cares heres the fun stuff:

*told ya we had ALOT of fucking ballons (dont they look like boobs not hearts?

*sucking out helium

*Kt got a bit more physical with her baloons:

* I swallowed one OOOPPS
]
*all the was left when the fun was over

Horrible pics they are all from a camra phone but see now you can call me crazy so much fun