him: vening
me: So I'm still awake, huh?
him: it would appear so
me: Strange. I was sure I was in bed underneath flannel sheets, dreaming about coconuts.
him: what about them?
me: Eating fruit salad out of scooped-out ones.
...
me: Hey, I don't think I'm real.
him: i wont ask what that means
him: real, i mean
him: if you were here i could probably test it more rigorously
me: I need testing.
him: reality testing is such a funny concept
him: supposedly, we do it all the time
....
me: I'm tired of men who think I need to be rescued. That I'm this fascinating character study for them to dissect and rearrange.
him: i think thats a fairly common complex for whatever reason.
him: that can be fun but only if its 2 way
him: i usually try to avoid it unless if someone specifically asks me to put on hip weighters and go mucking around in their subconscious,.
me: Right. I'm all about self-exploration and all that crap, but for someone to presume they know what's best for me is so dismissive.
him: yeah
me: My sometimes lover is on this spiritual bender and he called me up tonight.
him: 'spiritual bender'
him: ?
me: He's rambling, right. He's off in every direction, all hopped up on the Holy Ghost or whatever.
me: It's this amalgam of eastern and western thought...very personal and new agey and vague.
him: Fucked hard. By giants and goats and Moses?
him: Whoo
me: Right. We are nothing. we are everything. god is good.
him: Yay for vague ungrounded religious idealogies
me: and he's like, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you...I want you to learn what I'm learning. You have so many issues you have to work through."
me: Apparently, I'm a prisoner in my physical body.
him: he's not?
me: Apparently, I need to self-actualize or somesuch shit.
him: that sounds curiously like Scientology
me: He's had all these drug-induced OOBEs, apparently.
him: so have i
him: 360 degree vision kicks ass.
me: I've had 360 vision, but only in lucid dreams.
him: what does 'self actualization' mean?
him: (and does it involve oral sex)
me: God. Fuck if I know, really. Something about loving myself and humility and realizing how vastly small we all are...blah blah blah
him: its not sounding like it involves oral sex
me: I am not a spiritual person, but I'm not dense, either. It's not that I'm not spiritual because I CAN'T be, or because I'm unaware of this vast spirit world lurking just beyond my perception.
him: religions that don' t usually seem somewhat dubious
me: Right. The church of cunnilungus. I'd join.
him: depends on the members.
me: naturally.
him: so to speak
...
me: He's going to the Modern Day Slave Plantation (his term) anyway, so whatever.
him: what would that be in other people's terms?
me: prison
him: ahh
him: why?
me: Beating up a cop.
him: God doesn't usually like it when you beat up a cop.
me: No? Huh.
me: So I'm still awake, huh?
him: it would appear so
me: Strange. I was sure I was in bed underneath flannel sheets, dreaming about coconuts.
him: what about them?
me: Eating fruit salad out of scooped-out ones.
...
me: Hey, I don't think I'm real.
him: i wont ask what that means
him: real, i mean
him: if you were here i could probably test it more rigorously
me: I need testing.
him: reality testing is such a funny concept
him: supposedly, we do it all the time
....
me: I'm tired of men who think I need to be rescued. That I'm this fascinating character study for them to dissect and rearrange.
him: i think thats a fairly common complex for whatever reason.
him: that can be fun but only if its 2 way
him: i usually try to avoid it unless if someone specifically asks me to put on hip weighters and go mucking around in their subconscious,.
me: Right. I'm all about self-exploration and all that crap, but for someone to presume they know what's best for me is so dismissive.
him: yeah
me: My sometimes lover is on this spiritual bender and he called me up tonight.
him: 'spiritual bender'
him: ?
me: He's rambling, right. He's off in every direction, all hopped up on the Holy Ghost or whatever.
me: It's this amalgam of eastern and western thought...very personal and new agey and vague.
him: Fucked hard. By giants and goats and Moses?
him: Whoo
me: Right. We are nothing. we are everything. god is good.
him: Yay for vague ungrounded religious idealogies
me: and he's like, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you...I want you to learn what I'm learning. You have so many issues you have to work through."
me: Apparently, I'm a prisoner in my physical body.
him: he's not?
me: Apparently, I need to self-actualize or somesuch shit.
him: that sounds curiously like Scientology
me: He's had all these drug-induced OOBEs, apparently.
him: so have i
him: 360 degree vision kicks ass.
me: I've had 360 vision, but only in lucid dreams.
him: what does 'self actualization' mean?
him: (and does it involve oral sex)
me: God. Fuck if I know, really. Something about loving myself and humility and realizing how vastly small we all are...blah blah blah
him: its not sounding like it involves oral sex
me: I am not a spiritual person, but I'm not dense, either. It's not that I'm not spiritual because I CAN'T be, or because I'm unaware of this vast spirit world lurking just beyond my perception.
him: religions that don' t usually seem somewhat dubious
me: Right. The church of cunnilungus. I'd join.
him: depends on the members.
me: naturally.
him: so to speak
...
me: He's going to the Modern Day Slave Plantation (his term) anyway, so whatever.
him: what would that be in other people's terms?
me: prison
him: ahh
him: why?
me: Beating up a cop.
him: God doesn't usually like it when you beat up a cop.
me: No? Huh.
Amelie's sister has a psychic. So, her sister decides it'd be a good idea to ask her psychic about me, since Amelie obviously has no idea what she's doing, and a women with alleged mystical powers who's never spoken to me has a definite advantage over someone who's spent untold hours on the phone and online with me. I wonder how this woman is going to find me from all the way down in Florida. I figure she'll probably get the aura of some guy in St. Louis, but just in case I decided to spend the week teaching kids to smoke crack and having sex with goats. The bad news: I am "lost," have a dirty aura, and no connection to the spiritual world. The good news: Amelie is also "lost," has a dirty aura, and no connection to the spiritual world. Sounds to me like we're perfect for each other.
People who think they know what's best for you probably don't. Also, they suck.