Bah. Sucky day. I am fed up at work. I am helping out everyone else and I am currently slow, but I still have responsibilities. I was doing what I needed to and got yelled at today. And treated like I was a slacker. And a chucklehead. For something truly idiotic. I finished what I needed to, and started on the task at hand. But the REASON that I was yelled at, was that SHE didn't do this yesterday, so I had to do it. NOW!!!! And got treated like I was holding things up. And then got told "thank you" as I left. I did not work late tonight. And I rushed home, only NOT to do what I wanted to do all day. And kind of was expecting a talk. Blahblahblahblah.
Tomorrow I get to go to work, and then go to the hospital for a test, and then go back to work and stay late.
I did TALK to the nurse about my test results from the bloodwork. And I was pretty much right. People would KILL for my glucose, blood pressure, cholesterol, and even my iron levels were good. I have to take 300% of my RDA of iron to stay within a normal level. And this time, my anti-nuclear antibodies are still very high. Normal levels are less than 1:40. I am more than 10 times that amount. Sigh. I am a little worried over my test tomorrow and worried over the ANA levels.
I have decided that I am taking a bath and soaking until I just don't care anymore.
I am in a FEAR mood.
*edited*
I did soak in the tub, but I still cared. I was sorry for being a selfish bitch to the one person that I care about. I still was pissed about work. I still was upset over my health. And as the water slowly drained out (fucking stopper) and tears slowly fell, I realized that i would deal with as much as I could deal with, just as I always do. Through health issues, non-existent relationships, postal work environments, I will trudge through as always. I will try to make my health better. I will try to make my job better. I will try to make my relationships better. I will try to make my little life better. For right now, I am tired, sad, and worn out today. Goodnight moon.
Tomorrow I get to go to work, and then go to the hospital for a test, and then go back to work and stay late.
I did TALK to the nurse about my test results from the bloodwork. And I was pretty much right. People would KILL for my glucose, blood pressure, cholesterol, and even my iron levels were good. I have to take 300% of my RDA of iron to stay within a normal level. And this time, my anti-nuclear antibodies are still very high. Normal levels are less than 1:40. I am more than 10 times that amount. Sigh. I am a little worried over my test tomorrow and worried over the ANA levels.
I have decided that I am taking a bath and soaking until I just don't care anymore.
I am in a FEAR mood.
*edited*
I did soak in the tub, but I still cared. I was sorry for being a selfish bitch to the one person that I care about. I still was pissed about work. I still was upset over my health. And as the water slowly drained out (fucking stopper) and tears slowly fell, I realized that i would deal with as much as I could deal with, just as I always do. Through health issues, non-existent relationships, postal work environments, I will trudge through as always. I will try to make my health better. I will try to make my job better. I will try to make my relationships better. I will try to make my little life better. For right now, I am tired, sad, and worn out today. Goodnight moon.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
mrsted_stryker:
TRY is all you can do hun... I love ya tho.. and will be thinking about ya! 
lightandshade:
Mel, many many many hugs. Life has to get better. That's the hope that we all have to hold to, especially you and I right now. I'm a few months behind you in the cycle, but I'm sure I will catch up soon enough. Many hugs and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Message me for contact info.