what a weird month.
i've turned 23. quit my job, gone to paris, moved to a new town, started a new job, assisted with a festival, had an almost hugely successful party (almost in that it wasn't huge), made twelve or so new friends, prepared for another festival and eaten more jalapenos than i have in the past year.
so. where to start.
it feels fucking incredible to not be working as an arts assistant anymore. it was a great experience but a variable office and the limited opportunities for development were really crushing me. there are a lot of negative thoughts that i allow to spin around my head too freely, and all this job was doing was reinforcing them day by day. i needed more to do than data entry.
similarly, i was so ready to get out of my home town that besides seeing a few fine folk and one shaggy man, i realise that i now have no incentive to waste the petrol money in getting there.
the new flat is pretty sweet, a few hiccups to iron out but for a random message and a fifteen minute chat, i think i've been damn lucky in finding a place like this. central, roomy and free parking
i havent really had a chance to look around my new town yet, what with the new job being in peak season and all, but so far its ticking all the boxes. i'm not fussy anyways, i've been living in a two star town for long enough to not have expectations 
job is cool, its hard but i know i will learn lots of my time here so thats the important thing. my boss has also made it quite clear he wont be there forever, and if i keep my head down the job's mine. yay! thats a long way off yet though, this man hasnt failed to answer any question of mine yet. including what time the tide is coming in next tuesday. this coming week is going to be bordering on painful, as it's a ten day festival of activities that i'm not too clued up on yet...but i'll get through it i'm sure. smiles seem to help!
i guess the best thing of all this is that i'm beginning to feel more myself after a fucking long time. i'm not hyper, i'm not sad, i'm not eating too much, i'm not craving cigarettes or to steal stuff or to slice half my arms away and i'm not really angry. i still get a bit blue, drink a bit too much and don't eat quite often enough but they are all things which will take a bit more time than a month to heal. it's good to just feel i've taken a step forward. my new flatmate (also lovely) has buggered off for two weeks and this is my second evening alone. its embarrassing but not six weeks ago i wouldn't be able to sit the evening through by myself without fucking up in some way. and now, its ok. the music is on, i'm writing a lot, and i've just cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. i'm even just in a vest and knickers- that's pretty exciting huh!
hehe anyways. i dont want to yarn on and on about the stuff that isnt sorted yet. there's a lot of that but it doesnt need addressing right now. and i also dont want to pipe on about how great everything is, i've learnt thats an easy way for it all to come crashing down. but i'm ok, and i think maybe things will get better.
for you
i've turned 23. quit my job, gone to paris, moved to a new town, started a new job, assisted with a festival, had an almost hugely successful party (almost in that it wasn't huge), made twelve or so new friends, prepared for another festival and eaten more jalapenos than i have in the past year.
so. where to start.
it feels fucking incredible to not be working as an arts assistant anymore. it was a great experience but a variable office and the limited opportunities for development were really crushing me. there are a lot of negative thoughts that i allow to spin around my head too freely, and all this job was doing was reinforcing them day by day. i needed more to do than data entry.
similarly, i was so ready to get out of my home town that besides seeing a few fine folk and one shaggy man, i realise that i now have no incentive to waste the petrol money in getting there.
the new flat is pretty sweet, a few hiccups to iron out but for a random message and a fifteen minute chat, i think i've been damn lucky in finding a place like this. central, roomy and free parking
i havent really had a chance to look around my new town yet, what with the new job being in peak season and all, but so far its ticking all the boxes. i'm not fussy anyways, i've been living in a two star town for long enough to not have expectations
job is cool, its hard but i know i will learn lots of my time here so thats the important thing. my boss has also made it quite clear he wont be there forever, and if i keep my head down the job's mine. yay! thats a long way off yet though, this man hasnt failed to answer any question of mine yet. including what time the tide is coming in next tuesday. this coming week is going to be bordering on painful, as it's a ten day festival of activities that i'm not too clued up on yet...but i'll get through it i'm sure. smiles seem to help!
i guess the best thing of all this is that i'm beginning to feel more myself after a fucking long time. i'm not hyper, i'm not sad, i'm not eating too much, i'm not craving cigarettes or to steal stuff or to slice half my arms away and i'm not really angry. i still get a bit blue, drink a bit too much and don't eat quite often enough but they are all things which will take a bit more time than a month to heal. it's good to just feel i've taken a step forward. my new flatmate (also lovely) has buggered off for two weeks and this is my second evening alone. its embarrassing but not six weeks ago i wouldn't be able to sit the evening through by myself without fucking up in some way. and now, its ok. the music is on, i'm writing a lot, and i've just cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. i'm even just in a vest and knickers- that's pretty exciting huh!
hehe anyways. i dont want to yarn on and on about the stuff that isnt sorted yet. there's a lot of that but it doesnt need addressing right now. and i also dont want to pipe on about how great everything is, i've learnt thats an easy way for it all to come crashing down. but i'm ok, and i think maybe things will get better.
for you