anyone else find that the busier you get the less you want to write blogs?
i hate only being creative when everything is mulling in the pooper- so i will force some writing now, when i am feeling ok.
i find that i rarely say i'm 'good' these days. never 'happy', rarely 'content' and only sometimes 'not bad'. most of the time i am ok or i am alright. which is no bad thing, but sometimes i can be in a great mood and not want to celebrate it, in the fear of how quickly my moods turn. sometimes i can control them for weeks on end, sometimes i can swing within ten minutes from both extremities. it must just be the person i am, but it is exhausting, and evidently frustrating to other people. so now i keep everything as ok and alright, and maybe psychologically i'll stay more balanced. i'll let you know when this starts working.
right now though, i'm ok. i'm waiting for family guy to come on tv and i'm drinking Fentiman's ginger beer. this stuff would probably taste less spicy if you laced it with chili powder, but i like it, gets the brain ticking!
i'm being quite proactive at the minute, which is an excellent thing for me. i've been watching my diet, and i think i've lost a couple of pounds, or i'm certainly less bloated than i was. im keeping caffeine down and eating soup or ryvita whenever i can, because i am a shocking snacker!!
i had my first proper rehearsal for the play i'm doing tonight, I've got the lead role which is a really fun part but its a lot of lines to learn. the play is Cold Comfort Farm if anyone is interested, and we'll be performing in mid to late July. eek!!
not been getting down the gym as much as i want to, but i will do soon. got the race for life in a month and i'll be damned if i cant run three miles without weezing like a pair of bellows. damn office jobs, they make you so lazy!!! haha.
i'm also doing the marketing for an old work colleagues event. its called Labnights and will be a film/ music thingy. i dont have that many details yet which makes it difficult to write press releases for, but it does sound quite cool and hopefully we'll get a good response. our town is a bit of a bitch for change and excitement....which of course, leads me onto a rather huge Radio event which is being aired in my home town in a couple of weeks. lots of people havent got tickets (myself included, but luckily i can work and earn a free ticket for one of the days instead) and all i can see on facebook are hundreds of angry people demanding radio one reallocate the tickets and complaining constantly. i hate my town, it literally makes me cringe with embarrassment. yes its shitty, i was really upset the other day because i kind of assumed id get tickets too. but at the end of the day....writing poorly spelt and grammatised letters to a radio DJ is not going to change anything. RAAAR. sorry, got myself all riled up there.
however, as a cool side line of this event, there is a Fringe Festival going on throughout town, and I've set up various groups on facebook and our work website promoting it, because its basically lots of free live music events showcasing local bands. about time! i'm going to go interview them and write it up for our website and newsletter etc etc and generally get some useful crap for my CV.
BECAUSE....ive seen a nice job that i will be applying for. its not near where i live now, and i highly doubt i'll get it, but its good to find something that inspires me because it feels like its been a long while.
phewf. that was quite a ramble for someone who wasnt feeling too creative. life is quite full, but i'm also using these events to distract my heart and mind from other matters. i dont feel like im acting myself, i thought i was finding her a little while ago and now she's slipping back into old habits. i guess its easy to believe that something is perfect, and then give it impossibly high standards, because that is was perfection would be. dammit, how can i expect someone to understand me, when i cant even understand myself!! stoopid little lady
i hate only being creative when everything is mulling in the pooper- so i will force some writing now, when i am feeling ok.
i find that i rarely say i'm 'good' these days. never 'happy', rarely 'content' and only sometimes 'not bad'. most of the time i am ok or i am alright. which is no bad thing, but sometimes i can be in a great mood and not want to celebrate it, in the fear of how quickly my moods turn. sometimes i can control them for weeks on end, sometimes i can swing within ten minutes from both extremities. it must just be the person i am, but it is exhausting, and evidently frustrating to other people. so now i keep everything as ok and alright, and maybe psychologically i'll stay more balanced. i'll let you know when this starts working.
right now though, i'm ok. i'm waiting for family guy to come on tv and i'm drinking Fentiman's ginger beer. this stuff would probably taste less spicy if you laced it with chili powder, but i like it, gets the brain ticking!
i'm being quite proactive at the minute, which is an excellent thing for me. i've been watching my diet, and i think i've lost a couple of pounds, or i'm certainly less bloated than i was. im keeping caffeine down and eating soup or ryvita whenever i can, because i am a shocking snacker!!
i had my first proper rehearsal for the play i'm doing tonight, I've got the lead role which is a really fun part but its a lot of lines to learn. the play is Cold Comfort Farm if anyone is interested, and we'll be performing in mid to late July. eek!!
not been getting down the gym as much as i want to, but i will do soon. got the race for life in a month and i'll be damned if i cant run three miles without weezing like a pair of bellows. damn office jobs, they make you so lazy!!! haha.
i'm also doing the marketing for an old work colleagues event. its called Labnights and will be a film/ music thingy. i dont have that many details yet which makes it difficult to write press releases for, but it does sound quite cool and hopefully we'll get a good response. our town is a bit of a bitch for change and excitement....which of course, leads me onto a rather huge Radio event which is being aired in my home town in a couple of weeks. lots of people havent got tickets (myself included, but luckily i can work and earn a free ticket for one of the days instead) and all i can see on facebook are hundreds of angry people demanding radio one reallocate the tickets and complaining constantly. i hate my town, it literally makes me cringe with embarrassment. yes its shitty, i was really upset the other day because i kind of assumed id get tickets too. but at the end of the day....writing poorly spelt and grammatised letters to a radio DJ is not going to change anything. RAAAR. sorry, got myself all riled up there.
however, as a cool side line of this event, there is a Fringe Festival going on throughout town, and I've set up various groups on facebook and our work website promoting it, because its basically lots of free live music events showcasing local bands. about time! i'm going to go interview them and write it up for our website and newsletter etc etc and generally get some useful crap for my CV.
BECAUSE....ive seen a nice job that i will be applying for. its not near where i live now, and i highly doubt i'll get it, but its good to find something that inspires me because it feels like its been a long while.
phewf. that was quite a ramble for someone who wasnt feeling too creative. life is quite full, but i'm also using these events to distract my heart and mind from other matters. i dont feel like im acting myself, i thought i was finding her a little while ago and now she's slipping back into old habits. i guess its easy to believe that something is perfect, and then give it impossibly high standards, because that is was perfection would be. dammit, how can i expect someone to understand me, when i cant even understand myself!! stoopid little lady