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melancholia

Member Since 2008

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Sunday Apr 20, 2008

Apr 20, 2008
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one busy weekend coming to a close, drumming myself up for a manic Monday morning...

last thursday i went to see Portishead at Brixton Academy with a fine young gentleman. we got jacked up on haribo (rock and roll eh) and giggled our way up to London, him reminding me of an unfortunate illness that has made us rename a greater London town- Sickup, and me gazing at a girl who looked amazing, but had clearly taken a lot of time and effort to make herself look so..unkempt. this style always bemuses me, partly because i would love to be able to make my unkempt style so amazingly attractive. as opposed to frizzy tufts spraying from my forehead, and a stressed smudge of eyeliner down my face...

Portishead were amazing, but we were late so had to do with staying right at the back. I used to love being in the middle of the hot crowds, being anonymous and small. The older I get the less I seem to be able to stomach this though, and having an escape route three feet way is somewhat comforting smile The crowd were pretty eclectic, right down to these hitting-40 year old nobs who were having some friggin book club throughout the entire gig!! Despite all this, the gig was awesome, and Beth Gibbon's voice is still haunting blush

By Friday, I was shattered. I've spent the last week co-ordinating workshops for children, to occupy them through their Easter holidays. It's been fun, and definately made me think about my next few career choices, but it was also incredibly hard work. So having finished my final workshop on Friday I was all up for a long hot bath, pizza and dvd. Unfortunately my brother had other plans frown He had tickets for The Hives, at Brixton (again) and his mate had let him down. I don't know what it is about sibling relationships, you have to just do this stuff for each other no matter what. So...I dragged my poor ass back up to London, spent more money, hated the gig (seriously will be swapping a few of my cds into his collection) and came back feeling like death, but with a good conscience.

Saturday was cool though. I had grand plans to do over the entire flat, dig up my allotment and plant my spuds, finish sifting through my room at home (parents are moving) and generally get my life in tip top condition. The weather was shitty, which threw the allotment out the window. I was tired, which threw pretty much everything else out the window, and thankfully I got a phone call for demands to be re-jacked up on Haribo, and for my spare pair of arms to help carry painting paraphenalia. Not literally my spare pair of arms of course, I tend to keep them for swimming. Canterbury was cool, I got some bits to start my bookbinding, and a jacket and skirt from H&M. Spent more than I can afford, but thankfully I'm not planning on staying at my currently poor paid position much longer. The said gentleman also needed some photos for his art project, so we spent Saturday evening throwing fizzy wine on top of the Haribo, cooking far too much Italian, and then taking photos of my uh extended gut in underwear! it was great fun, and most of the pictures look pretty good considering (me, being that consideration).

Saying this, I've managed to get my head back on fairly level stepping with food and exercise. I won't say much, in fear of triggering myself, but in short I'm not minding the short term weight gain, if it means I'll be healthier in the long term. I'm going to crack back down at the gym, and just stop thinking about it all. If I can. Anyway.

And, as for today. I went back home and managed to clear a load of stuff from my bedroom which has erased a little niggle in my head and made me feel a lot better. I threw out two bin liners of crap, found my library card, paper driving license (hadn't noticed that was missing, but where I found it means I haven't seen it since I returned from Oz. January 07....) and also the bank login information for my other account. Kind of important! haha! My room has been redecorated and is a gorgeous shade of warm cream. Everything is clean, and mum made a cake....kinda makes me want to move right back in. But, shitty as things are at the flat at the minute (sibling stuff), I know the independence is good for me.

And this is where I start my week, in a tired but good mood. I feel alright, that maybe I'm getting a bit stronger. Or my confidence is returning and I have a bit more faith in myself smile Anywho, big thanks to Timskin for never failing to cheer me up, and also having the unique ability to make my ass look alright biggrin Big thanks to you, random reader, for getting this far.

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