mei

so we are kind of flat broke, and it's really fucking stressful. we've spent most of the wedding money my parents gave us, and the rest of it will go to this month's rent. i've got to get a job post haste. it sucks to be getting ready to graduate, which should be a time to decompress, finish all of my schoolwork and finally relax for a little bit, but no - i need to find something to do now. and i have no fucking experience with anything except for writing and editing. a year and a half of retail, six months or so of office.. i learn real quick, but nobody gives a shit about that in this job market. you know what i'd love to do? it'd be perfect if i could be a graveyard front desk person in a hotel. do a little vacuuming, take a couple phone calls, and read novels and lit theory.. jobs like that don't really come up often, though.

grrrr.. stress stress stress. i hate the fact that one needs money to live. maybe we should find a little tiny place on the coast of some cheap country. i s'pose you still need a little bit of savings to do that, though, and we're shit out of luck for that.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

i'm sure that i'll feel better tomorrow or the next day.. or at least i really hope that i do, because if i don't, i'm going to start pulling my hair out.

rar.

ok - i'll go back to playing computergames in the hopes that the hypnotically blinking green lights will make me feel calmer. maybe i'll write some coverletters later. it's so hard to seem eager about a telemarketing job or a receptionist job. what the fuck unique special creative skills can i bring to something like that? zip, unless they want a receptionist who can quote joyce and sterne at the passerby and notice the way the flourescent overhead lights make the dust on the edge of the desk look like seafoam.

rar again.

i'll just turn into a tiger and go bounding off into the savannah.

or not

but either way, i'll quit whining... sorry..