mei

career fairs are depressing. i didn't find anyone that looked good to work for. by the end of it, people were saying, "so what are you interested in?" and i was responding "you know those things that you go to every day and do tasks and then you get paid? one of those." i don't know if people were impressed with my refreshing honesty or shocked at my idiocy. either way, i don't want to sell life insurance.

i'm kind of pleasantly sleepy tonight. i'll do a little homework and then i'll go to sleep early tonight, maybe. actually get a sufficient amount of sleep for once.

i'm still wanting a body mod of some sort, and still not sure what it is that i want. maybe tongue piercing. my friends all tell me that a septum piercing wouldn't look good on me, and i don't know if i agree or not. i think it'd probably look good, but i don't look at my face as much as they do.

so i'm so poor right now that i can't even go to yoga. that's part of why i've been a little weird. i miss it a lot. i don't have enough self-control to actually do it on my own everyday yet, but i really like to go to the studio. maybe i'll take money out of savings, but i'm really not supposed to.. i'm not so bendy as i was a month ago. sad.

i feel like slowdancing with somebody. billie holiday's on.. and i feel kind of soft and contented and quiet. i wish i had the voice to be a torch singer.. it's too high, though. i'd love to slither all over the stage seducing everyone.. lying on the piano.. if only the stage fright would go away.

the air outside is piquant, cold. it makes my cheeks and nose pink. i love to be able to see my breath in cold air. i wish i could be a smoker, just to watch the smoke coil and dissipate. cold air isn't the same, but i can pretend.