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mei

SG Since 2002

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Tuesday Sep 23, 2003

Sep 23, 2003
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terrible, i know. i've been gravely neglecting my duties around here. it just makes me so nervous to try to write. and i keep getting sucked into the tv. i've been looking at apartments, though. tiny, soulless boxes, most of them. the well-located ones are pathetic and overpriced, the inconvenient ones are cuter but still seem overpriced. it's easy to forget how much cheaper it is to live with someone else. $500 per month for a home? that's almost half of my income! but i do so want to live by myself.. and the cheaper places are so ugly! i could live there, but something in me wants to pay the extra money to live in a nicer place, now that i'm going to have it.

tried singing into a microphone the other day. i need to lock myself in a recording studio and teach myself to use a microphone without sounding dumb. or at least feeling like i sound dumb. singing in the shower is fun. singing in stairways is fun. why can't singing for an audience feel the same way?

the stars at my parents house fill the sky like swirls of smoke. the familiar constellations from the city glitter, but instead of hanging on a darkly pinkish curtain, they stand forward from an infinite depth of similar shapes.

what should i be for halloween? i have the day after off.. just because it's possibly my favorite holiday. i love to dress up.

one constant, anywhere i live - yellow streetlights on the trees. i can remember the particular shapes from most of my homes. i should photograph them sometime. maybe.

i watched a twirly seed pod fall from a maple today. i was walking purposefully down the sidewalk - my "i am walking like i am confident and attractive because i have nothing better to do than pay attention to my stride" type walk. and it fell right in front of my face, hanging suspended. i stopped and looked at it, trying to find the spider's silk holding it steady in the air. it must have been some breeze, though, because it hopped up and down for a few more seconds like a runaway kite before settling down. i felt like a kid playing with some fun new toy. it made me smile. i forgot to walk tall - i think i slumped. but i grinned.

'twill be laundry day tomorrow. my clothes are very, very dirty.

appypollylogies to those whom i am neglecting. i'll be back in full force soon, i promise. as soon as i have my own place.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
tegan:
gorjuss
Sep 25, 2003
stickyrice:
Streetlights around here cast a diffuse orange glow, not the silver cone of light I remember from years ago, the top of her hair and toe of her shoe just visible at the edge of it where she waited for me.
Sep 25, 2003

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