mei

i can't stand it when i'm not drunk and everyone else is. loud, unpleasant, people. they think that they are really funny. and they aren't, particularly. they make me want to hide or drink. and i really shouldn't drink. so i'll come hide with my sg friends, because they aren't drunk. listening to people, i can feel my heart beat. as though my chest is a cathedral, and my heart is someone beating on the door.

i love to eat good sorbet. sometimes, it's as good as sex. cold and sweet, on the tip of the spoon. brush my upper lip over the top of it, and savor the melt on my tongue. sweet sticky drops left on my lips, going from cold to warm before i lick them off. feel my jaw tighten as the raspberry tartness washes through the back of my mouth. turn over the spoon, lick the melted part out of the grooves. exquisite. someday i'd like to eat sorbet off of somebody. raspberry pink nipples, soft lemon peach collarbone.

i'm feeling like i need a shower. backrub. something tactile. i need some love. quiet movie-watching. a touch in the night. but it's not happening. that makes me feel bitter. licking fingers coated in dandelion milk. should be sweet.