mei

i am mad. crazyangryfrustrated. i don't know why. it doesn't make sense. i want to cry and roll around and throw things. or just go to sleep and forget i felt like this today. i still feel a little sick. i need to relax. i need to say soft happy things to myself until my brain stops teetering wherever it's run off to. but it doesn't want to hear them. maybe i'll go for a drive with the windows rolled up, and scream as loud as i can in the stifling heat. or maybe i'll just pretend it away, until the next time. because i'll forget - i'll forget that i feel like this, and that this is what happens to me intermittently if i'm not taking medication, and that it's not fun or happy or even worth the sometimes creative boost.

i cannot do this. weak mei, when facing down her brain.

i guess i'll just have to wait it out.



waiting...